


conversations on a spaceship headed towards midgard in the middle of the night (or, at least, what they perceive to be night).

by porcelainsimplicity (pyroallerdyce)



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Alcohol, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, F/M, Gen, Not Avengers: Endgame (Movie) Compliant, Not Avengers: Infinity War Part 1 (Movie) Compliant, Post-Thor: Ragnarok (2017), Sorceresses, Spells & Enchantments
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-06-20
Updated: 2019-06-20
Packaged: 2020-05-15 15:05:05
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 12
Words: 28,077
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19298179
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/pyroallerdyce/pseuds/porcelainsimplicity
Summary: Even on a cargo ship like the one they were on, the Grandmaster was obviously ready to have a good time.or: Loki can't sleep and finds alcohol, and then Thor finds Loki, and a whole lot of conversations follow.***REPOST***





	1. what if this storm never ends?

**Author's Note:**

> These chapters were originally posted as separate stories before in a fit of rage about my writing several months ago, I took them down. But I actually really do like them a lot and I decided to put them back up. So here they are as one big story instead. This little series of mine _might_ be finished someday, but for now, enjoy. 
> 
> I should also say that this was written before Infinity War came out.
> 
> If you happen to read them again or for the first time, I would appreciate a comment, kudos, or bookmark so that I know I'm not just writing into a void. You have no idea how much that would mean to me. Thanks for reading!

He'd barely escaped.

He'd done as Thor had asked him to do, gone and caused the Ragnarok that had been prophesied for millennia, and Surtur had appeared faster and with more of a vengeance than in any of the nightmares Loki had had of Ragnarok as a child or in any of the dreams that had plagued him of late. He'd barely made it back to that ship of the Grandmaster's, he'd barely gotten it to start his hands had been shaking so viciously, and he'd taken off. And he watched as the cargo ship drifted further and further from his view, and then the explosion happened behind him and the concussive blast rocked his ship so hard that it nearly knocked him unconscious.

He'd barely escaped.

He'd been unsure if he'd be able to find the cargo ship once his eyesight returned to normal because he couldn't see it. But find it he had, and now the escape was all Loki could think about since he'd finally allowed himself to lie down in a bed in a room on a ship that contained all that was left of his people.

He closed his eyes and laid there for a few minutes before he realized that he was never going to sleep that night, so he stood and dressed again before making his way out into the ship. He found a room that looked like a library but with no books, a strange room for a cargo ship but it was one of the Grandmaster's ships so he didn't care to think what it was actually used for. He stepped inside and pressed a button that he thought would raise the lights, but instead removed the paneling from the walls and revealed it not to be a room made for books, but stuffed with bottles of alcohol.

Thank the Norns.

He needed a really stiff drink. He didn't care what it was. Just some sort of liquor hard enough that it would burn his throat on the way down. He poured himself one glassful of a sapphire blue liquor and knocked it back, determined it would serve his purpose, and immediately poured himself another. He repeated this four times before he heard the cough from behind him and found himself so startled that he dropped the empty glass, shattering it on the floor.

“I managed to startle you?” came Thor's voice, and Loki immediately reached for another glass while using his magic to clear the broken shards of the other away. “I don't think I've managed to startle you since we were children.”

“Well, you got me there,” Loki said, pouring the liquor into the new glass and promptly knocking it back. He reached for the bottle again as Thor came to a stop beside him. “Have a drink, brother.”

“I think you're having plenty for both of us,” Thor said, but still he reached for a glass and a bottle of something burgundy in color. “What keeps you awake, Loki?”

“I just destroyed Asgard,” Loki said without thinking, then cursed his loose tongue. “It's enough to keep one up at night.”

“I destroyed Asgard,” Thor said, taking a sip of the burgundy liquor, before heading towards one of the room's chairs. “I told you to do it.”

“But I'm the one who did it.” Loki picked up the bottle he was drinking from and took it over to the chair besides Thor's, incredibly aware of what else he'd done while in the treasure room.

He needed to tell Thor what he'd done, he suddenly realized. His brother – and when had he gone back to thinking of Thor in such terms, it must have meant something had changed – needed to know what was ahead of them.

“Brother,” Loki started, setting the bottle on the table next to him and then the glass beside it. “I must tell you something.”

“Whatever it is, Loki, it can wait.” Thor leaned back in his chair and sipped from his glass. “I'm quite enjoying not having to think about anything at the moment.”

“I'm sorry, but this just cannot wait,” Loki said, wondering why he was saying it. Thor was giving him a reason not to bring it up, giving him a reason not to talk about it at all. He should take the out. But instead, he reached into his interdimensional pocket and pulled out the Tesseract. “Brother.”

Thor glanced over at him and then recoiled back against the chair as though personally struck. “Loki! Why?”

“Because if this had been destroyed along with Asgard, it would have ripped a hole in space and time itself!” Loki said, placing the Tesseract back into his pocket. “It's an Infinity Stone, brother. And he's coming for it, Thor. Odin was all that was stopping him.”

“What do you mean?” Thor demanded.

“He was scared of Odin,” Loki said, shaking his head in disbelief. “I must say, I never understood it until our murderous sister appeared and the truth was revealed to us. But once he learns Hela has returned, Ragnarok has occurred, and Asgard is gone, his pursuit will begin.”

“Who is this you speak of?” Thor asked. “What have you done?”

“I have done nothing,” Loki hissed. “Nothing! And that is the thing that no one will believe, no one will understand. I have done nothing. It has all been him.”

Thor was instantly confused. “Make me understand, brother.”

“He is insane,” Loki spat out bitterly. “He is more powerful than anyone I have ever known, and that is without the Infinity Stones. His magic is dark and ancient, far more powerful than mine. And he saw in me an opportunity, manipulated me before I ever knew I was being manipulated. Wrapped me up in spellwork that I could not even ascertain or notice. How he got past Heimdall, past the palace guard, past Mother and Father, I will never know.”

“Loki...”

“I did not sabotage your coronation, brother. That was him. The manipulation of you to get you to go to Jotunheim and battle? That was him. The Destroyer? Him. The manipulation of your friend Selvig? Him. The attack on Midgard? Him. It was all him.”

Thor stared at his brother as Loki poured himself another drink and knocked it back. “What did he do to you Loki, this man that you speak of? The truth.”

Loki's head dropped and Thor watched as he took several ragged breaths. “He unmade me,” Loki finally said, lifting his head to give Thor a pained expression. “And then he remade me into what he wanted. And it has taken me years to undo the damage that he wrought. I did not know the depths of it until Svartalfheim. I did not fake my death, brother. I died. I can show you the scars on my body that not even my magic can heal if you'd like. I just...returned, and with his voice echoing in my head.”

Thor stared at his brother until understanding dawned. “You think he has put a working on you so that you cannot die, not until you fulfill his purpose.”

Loki gave a small nod. “And I do not know how to undo it. The rest...you can continue to be angry with me for masquerading as the Allfather, brother, but I needed that time and Odin's private library to remake myself. To undo all the spellwork that I could and piece myself back together. Mother had always spoken to me about how Odin's library was the safest place in all of the cosmos and I did not trust myself to tear me to pieces and put me back together anywhere but in there. I never did mean Odin any harm and I certainly didn't expect him to die. For that, I am truly sorry.”

“You hate him,” Thor said automatically.

“No longer, brother. I have made my peace with Odin and his lies to me,” Loki said, staring at Thor over the rim of his glass. “Jotunn I may be, but I pledge my allegiance to the King of Asgard. If you will have me.”

“Of course I will have you, brother,” Thor said. “But we must do something about this man who has controlled you so. Tell me, brother. Tell me who he is.”

Loki knocked back three more glasses of the sapphire blue liquor before he spoke again. “His name is Thanos. He will burn the universe to acquire all of the Infinity Stones. They must be defended at all costs. And with me bringing the Tesseract with us, that will bring the total on Midgard to three that I am aware of.”

Thor's brow furrowed. “Three?”

“The Tesseract, the stone that was inside my scepter, and the stone that resides with the sorcerers.” Loki took another large sip. “The sorcerer in New York, the one who helped us find Odin. He will know where the third stone is. I am sure of it.”

“How do you know this?”

“Odin's library,” Loki said. “You'd be amazed by what I learned in there. Of course nothing about our sister. But all of that is not the point right now. The point is, there will be three stones on Midgard, possibly more. I've been trying to locate the others, especially after the aether disappeared off Asgard, but...”

“The aether!” Thor exclaimed suddenly. “I sent it to The Collector for safekeeping on behalf of Father!”

Loki groaned and reached for the bottle again. “You stupid oaf! You never told Odin that.”

“And because you were already masquerading as Father, you would know,” Thor said, sighing heavily and standing to refill his glass. “What is wrong with it being in the hands of The Collector?”

“The Collector is the brother of the Grandmaster.”

Now it was Thor's turn to groan. “Please tell me he's not as much of a lunatic.”

“Of course he is. From what I was able to ascertain, an attempt to purchase another Infinity Stone went wrong and destroyed most of his collection,” Loki said, sighing heavily. “I have no idea whether the aether remains there or not.”

“But the gauntlet resided in the vault,” Thor said, searching for something that would prevent the horrifying dread that was overtaking him. “It was destroyed with Asgard. This Thanos, he cannot assemble the stones.”

“That was not the gauntlet,” Loki said. “It was a fake. Another thing I learned in Odin's library. I suspect that Thanos already has the true gauntlet to assemble them into. He has been searching for these for a long time. He had the stone that was in my scepter and granted it to me after he had tortured me endlessly into submission, and then he sent me to Midgard to acquire the Tesseract. You and your warriors put an end to that. I lost the scepter and I did not acquire the Tesseract, and truth be told, I've been hiding from him ever since.”

Thor sat back down and looked over at his brother. “Why bring the Tesseract to Earth? Why not cast it out onto an unknown world as we passed it?”

“And have some unprepared world raised to the ground by Thanos and his forces?” Loki said, shaking his head. “I could not think of a safer place to keep it than Midgard. I have first-hand experience in how formidable you and your team of warriors, your Avengers, can be. If anyone can protect an Infinity Stone, it's you lot. With some help, of course.”

“Help?”

“Mine, if you will have it. The Valkyrie's, if we can convince her to stop drinking and defend another realm. Heimdall is strong. These gladiators from Sakaar seem willing to run into madness and pick up a gun or a sword. And then every Midgardian warrior you can call upon. You will need us all.”

Thor sat silently, sipping at his burgundy drink as Loki knocked back a few more. He'd seen his brother at feasts and parties enjoying himself, of course, but he had never seen Loki consume so much alcohol so quickly. “This Thanos,” he finally said, “is he big and purple?”

Loki nearly dropped the glass he was holding. “How do you know this?”

“I was given a vision on Earth and saw things that did not make sense,” Thor said. “I sought out water spirits to return me to the vision so I could find what I had missed.”

“Water spirits?” Loki exclaimed. “Without me there to temper them? You are lucky you're alive.”

“I had no choice. Only in a reflection pool with water spirits could I return to my vision. There I saw the Infinity Stones and a big, purple man in a floating chair. I did not know who he was so I went out to investigate and to see if I could collect any of the Infinity Stones before he did.”

“Big, purple man in a floating chair is about the most basic way I have ever heard Thanos described. You couldn't use more eloquent words?”

“You wish to mock me, brother, or get to the bottom of this?”

Loki raised his empty glass before reaching for the bottle. “By all means, brother. Continue.”

Thor just shook his head. “I believed the aether safe with The Collector so I left it there. I heard rumors of a stone on Xandar, but no one could say more than there had been a big battle between a Kree and the Xandarians, and well, since when is that news?”

Loki let out a small laugh. “Too true, brother. But perhaps we should explore this Xandar thread a little more. I heard the same rumors as well, but before I could research further, you showed up on Asgard again.”

Thor drained the rest of his glass and sighed heavily. “Loki, what will Thanos do if he acquires all of the stones?”

“I know not, brother,” Loki said, leaning back in his chair. “I only know that it will not be good.”

Before Thor could say another word, the door opened and the Valkyrie walked in, her eyes widening when she saw them sitting there. “You're having a party without me?”

“I believe Loki is the one having the party,” Thor said, reaching out and picking up the bottle Loki had been drinking from, swishing the remaining sapphire blue liquor around. “I'm pretty sure this was full when he got to it.”

“Oh shut up, brother,” Loki said, grabbing the bottle back. “Like I've never seen you drink your way through several bottles of alcohol in one sitting. That's my first.”

“Well, I'm joining in,” the Valkyrie said, heading over to where the glasses were. “What have you two been talking about?”

“Nothing,” the brothers said in unison, and the Valkyrie laughed as Thor and Loki turned to look at each other.

“I bet you two said that to your mother many times over the years,” she said.

The Valkyrie, and Thor really needed to get her real name out of her, kept talking about children and the way they hid things from their mothers, and he used the opportunity to lean over to Loki. “This is not the end of this conversation,” he whispered and when Loki nodded, he sat back in his chair.

The sense of dread that he'd put on hold while he'd dealt with Hela had overtaken him again, and this time it was much, much worse.


	2. i'm not made of stone.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Because sometimes reliving the worst moment of your life can turn out to be a good thing.
> 
> or: the Valkyrie has been watching him for four days, Loki has started drinking himself to death, and an apology occurs.

She'd watched him for four days now. He wandered the ship at all hours, talked to people only if necessary, and spent far too much time in what had been dubbed 'The Drinking Room' draining bottles of alcohol. If he wasn't careful, he was going to drink them dry before they got close to another planet, let alone close to Midgard. She didn't know what Thor and Loki had been discussing that night when she'd interrupted them, but she was starting to think it was a lot more serious than some old family memories like she'd been told.

She was about to head to The Drinking Room for a bottle of her own when she spotted him across the large open space, talking to a woman that Heimdall had pointed out to her the day before. The woman had been widowed in the fight to escape Hela and was extremely emotional, and she had never been good with people who were crying so she'd escaped before she was forced to speak to her. But there Loki was, an arm carefully around the woman, speaking gentle words as she cried into his shoulder. And as much as she knew she should leave this obviously private moment to the two of them, she couldn't stop herself from watching.

On Sakaar, Loki had been brash and grandiose, so convinced that he was better than everyone around him, including the Grandmaster. She should hate him for forcing her to relive the last moments of her Valkyrior sisters, and ever since that moment, she had. But the man who was comforting this widow was not the man that had been on Sakaar. Loki looked like he actually cared about what this woman was going through, and she didn't need to be close enough to hear the words he was speaking to know that he seemed to genuinely be offering comfort and condolence.

Korg came up to her and started talking, and she did her best to pay attention to what he was saying, but she could not tear her eyes away from Loki. When she saw him part from the woman and head in the direction of The Drinking Room, she made her excuses to Korg and followed him. By the time she got there, he was already drinking from a bottle of something orange in color, and instead of watching from the door like she had the previous days, she walked into the room.

“Drinking already?”

Loki was startled by her words, she could tell, but he shook it off quickly. “When you've had the things done to you that I have, a lot of alcohol is required to keep your sanity.”

She hadn't been expecting that. What had been done to him? “Beg your pardon?”

“I don't want to talk about it,” Loki said, grabbing the bottle and walking over to the chairs, collapsing down into one. “What I do want to talk about, however, is the apology I owe you.”

She dropped the top of the bottle she'd just opened loudly against the small counter. “The what?”

“For what I did on Sakaar,” Loki said, pouring himself another glass. “Forcing you to relive that memory. That was...well, it was incredibly awful of me to do and for that, I'm terribly sorry. I had heard about the deaths of the Valkyrior, but I did not think it was going to be as terrible as that actually was. And as soon as I felt your pain, I knew that I'd made a horrible mistake.”

She bypassed the glass and grabbed the bottle, walking over to the chair next to Loki's and sinking down into it. She took a long drink from the bottle before looking over at him and saying the first thing that came to mind. “You felt my pain?”

Loki knocked back his glass and nodded. “A side effect of making people relive a memory is that I feel their emotions as it happened. I do not know who she was—”

“Watch your words,” she gritted out angrily.

“All I was going to say was that I could tell that she was someone you had loved. They were all someone that you had loved. And I felt your pain at their loss,” Loki said, pouring himself another. “You loved them more than I have ever loved someone, that's for sure.”

“There was never a woman you loved?” she asked, glad to pivot the subject away from her fallen sisters. “You're a prince of the realm. I imagine you had women falling at your feet.”

Loki just shook his head. “Oh, no. They all lusted after my brother, not me. Thor was the warrior, the heir, the future king. The muscular golden-haired god that would rule the golden city. I was the outcast. The slender raven-haired boy who preferred his magic to his sword, his books to a fight. I think the women found me too strange to ever find me attractive.”

“Surely there must have been at least one.”

“For a night or two, sure,” Loki said, knocking back his drink. “But usually they only did that so they could get close to Thor. There was certainly never anything resembling a courtship. There was never anything ever resembling a thought of a courtship.”

“I am surprised to hear that Odin would allow such an imbalance between his sons,” she said.

“Thor was his son,” Loki said. “I was his prize for winning the war with Jotunheim.”

She had heard a few people on the ship question Thor after he'd announced that Loki was to take a place on his hastily gathered council as his heir. She had heard what they'd said about him. She'd just never believed that it could possibly actually be true.

“So what I've been hearing on the ship, that you're a Jotunn in an Aesir glamour, that's true?” she finally said, trying to phrase it the best way she could.

Loki looked over at her in confusion for a moment before his eyes softened. “I keep forgetting you've been on Sakaar for centuries. I guess word of my true parentage never reached you until you were onboard this ship.”

“Odin kidnapped you?” she asked, and Loki immediately shook his head.

“No, no, no,” he said, pouring himself another drink. “I was left to die by my father, Laufey, the king of Jotunheim. Odin found me, cast an Aesir glamour over me, and took me home with him. Thor had already been born, and I slotted in as his younger brother. Those who knew of my adoption never spoke of it to me. I found out only by chance, though I am starting to wonder if it was not so much by chance as it was on purpose.”

She sat there and watched as Loki poured himself a drink. “I don't understand what that means.”

“Let's leave that part for another time,” Loki said, draining his glass in one sip.

“You've been drinking too much these last few days.”

Loki let out a small laugh. “You're going to tell me that?”

“I suppose I am being a hypocrite about it, but the King is worried about you.”

Loki sighed heavily. “Please tell me you're not going to be one of those.”

“I'm sorry?”

“I grew up surrounded by women who called him the prince or my lord or the heir or the future king or the this or the that, and no one called him by his name when that was all he truly wanted. Just call him Thor. He'll appreciate that.”

“And what will you appreciate?” she asked. “I don't need you getting all jealous on me and trying to usurp the throne.”

“I have no desire to ever sit on a throne again,” Loki said firmly, setting the glass down on the table and just reaching for the bottle. “And I'm not jealous. I never was. Envious, perhaps, but never jealous. Never jealous enough to do the things I've done.”

“Then why did you do them?” she asked.

“That wasn't me,” Loki said, taking a long drink from the bottle. “And I don't want to talk about that.”

She took a long drink from her own bottle and they sat in silence for a few moments. “I never wanted to remember that ever again as long as I lived.”

“And again, I'm truly sorry for making you relive it.”

“But I'm glad you did that,” she continued. “You broke me out of the haze I was living in. I feel more at peace on this ship surrounded by my people than I ever did on Sakaar. And the Grandmaster loved me. I was his favorite scrapper.”

“He certainly did take a shining to people, didn't he?” Loki said. “I'm not surprised you were one of them. I was quite surprised I was.”

She choked on the sip she was in the middle of. “What?” she finally managed to say.

“What, did you think I talked my way into the Grandmaster's favor?” Loki asked. “Oh, no, he was informed right away when I arrived. The scrapper than found me, two-eight-six I believe, was convinced that I would make a good undercard match at least, but the Grandmaster took one look at me and decided otherwise. I was fully prepared to do the whole Silvertongue thing and talk my way into his good graces.”

“He didn't actually ever try anything with you, did he?”

“No,” Loki said. “Though I was informed by a few of the acquaintances that I made in his menagerie that it was just a matter of time before he did. Thankfully Thor showed up when he did.”

She stared at Loki as he took another long sip from the bottle, a thought forming in her head. “That's why all the women stayed away, isn't it? They thought you wouldn't be interested.”

Loki took another long sip and then another. “You are perceptive, Valkyrie.”

“Surely Odin or the Queen or Thor noticed this and tried to correct it?”

“Mother noticed of course. Odin and Thor? Not a chance.” Loki chuckled softly at something, but she wasn't sure what. “I suppose that's why it was easier for them to believe that I would actually turn on Thor and try to kill him. They felt I acted out of pure jealousy. Mother, I think, probably tried to reason with them until I was forced to try to conquer Midgard. But then, I think even she began to believe that I was gone and this monster had taken my place.”

“Forced to try to conquer Midgard?” Thor had told her Loki had tried to conquer Midgard, but he hadn't told her that someone had forced him to do it. “What?”

“I don't wish to discuss that.”

“If you don't wish to discuss these things, then quit bringing them up.”

Loki took another long sip. “I will tell you someday. Before we reach Midgard. Because we are going to need your help, Valkyrie. Midgard is going to need your help. The universe is going to need your help. Because he's coming, whether I like it or not.”

She looked over at him as Loki leaned back and tipped the bottle up, letting a large amount of orange liquor pour down his throat. She had no idea what that meant, but she found that she could believe him to keep his word. “Brunnhilde.”

Loki tipped the bottle back down and looked over at her. “Beg your pardon?”

“Valkyrie is not my name, it's my job. My name is Brunnhilde. And I forgive you.”

Loki gave her a soft smile. “Well, Brunnhilde, it's nice to finally know that.”

“Keep it to yourself, yeah?” she said. “I like the mystery that's surrounding me at the moment.”

“I shall,” Loki said, raising his bottle at her. “To Brunnhilde, the last living Valkyrie.”

She raised hers back at him. “And to Loki, who definitely wasn't attracted to the Grandmaster.”

Loki burst into laughter and she joined him, and that was how Thor found them moments later.

“Do tell the good joke, brother.”

“I'm afraid I can't,” Loki said in between laughs. “It was a moment, brother. You had to be there.”


	3. i'm the kind of person who starts getting kinda nervous.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Because when you come back to yourself after being stuck inside a monster and find yourself talking to an sentient pile of rocks, sometimes the actual important stuff is hard to believe too.
> 
> or: Bruce is back to himself, Thor goes to speak to him, and Bruce is wary of Loki for what he considers very good reasons.

“Thor? Hey man? Can I talk to you for a moment?”

Thor turned to see Korg standing behind him. “Korg, I really don't have time for a chat at the moment. I need to prepare for the council meeting in the morning.”

“This is about Hulk. He's kind of like a man now and he's naked,” Korg said, confusion in his voice, and he now had Thor's complete attention.

“He transformed back into Banner?” Thor asked, walking towards him. “Take me to him. Now.”

“What about your meeting?”

“It can wait,” Thor said.

“Alright, man,” Korg said, turning and leading Thor from the large open space. “His room is this way.”

Korg took him down a corridor and then came to a stop in front of a room. “Is there anything I can do?”

“Go to Loki,” Thor said. “Ask him to gather some clothes for a man to wear and bring him here.”

“I can do that, man,” Korg said, turning around and walking off.

Thor turned to the door and knocked on it. “Banner? It's Thor. Can I come in?”

He heard a yes from inside the room so he pushed the button that would open the door. Banner was sitting on the bed with the remnants of the pants Hulk had been wearing wrapped around his lower half, his head drooped and shoulders shaking. “Banner. It's good to see you.”

“Thor.” Bruce looked up as Thor closed the door behind him and sighed heavily. “Where am I now?”

“You're on a spaceship headed for Earth,” Thor said, walking over to one of the room's chairs and sitting down in it.

“Why aren't we in Asgard?” Bruce asked. “I thought we would stay there for a while after we saved it.”

Thor felt a lump form in his throat. “Asgard is not a place, it's a people. And we saved as many people as we could.”

Bruce stared at him for a moment. “Thor, what aren't you telling me?”

Thor sighed. “To stop Hela, I had to cause Ragnarok.”

“Cause Ragnarok? I thought the point was to stop Ragnarok.”

“Hela drew her power from Asgard. She grew stronger by the minute. We couldn't stop her, but Surtur could.”

“Surtur?”

“The fire lord who put an end to Asgard. That is what Ragnarok meant.”

“What do you mean put an end to Asgard?” Bruce asked, taking in Thor's distressed appearance. “Are you telling me Asgard is gone?”

“Yes.”

Bruce stared at him for a few moments, his jaw dropped. “You just said you caused Ragnarok.”

“I did,” Thor said, nodding. “It was the only way to stop her.”

“Wow,” Bruce said. “That's, um, that's a big decision.”

“It was one that had to be made,” Thor said. “But that's not important at the moment. What matters at the moment is that you're back. The Valkyrie, she told me what you did.”

“I had no choice. All those people would have been killed,” Bruce said, wrapping his arms tighter around himself. “I may hate what the Hulk does, but he does defend people far better than I could. Ph.Ds can't stop a gigantic dog.”

“It was a wolf, actually,” Thor said. “But that's beside the point. The point is that you told me that if you changed into the Hulk again, you weren't going to come back. You were willing to sacrifice being you for the good of my people, for my home, and for that, I can never express my thanks and gratitude enough. I'm not sure there are words in any language spoken in the universe that would describe it enough.”

“It's not that big of a deal,” Bruce started, but Thor was having none of it.

“It's a huge deal, Bruce. And it is a debt that I will probably never be able to repay.”

Before Bruce could speak again, there was a knock at the door. Bruce was startled but Thor stood up, heading towards it. “That should be some clothes for you.”

“There's some clothes for me? Thank God,” Bruce said as Thor pressed the button to open the door.

“Brother,” came Loki's voice. “Explain to me why you need a man's clothes brought to this room before I start making assumptions that would amuse me beyond belief.”

Bruce swallowed hard as Thor stepped aside. “See for yourself, brother.”

Loki stepped into the room and saw Bruce sitting on the bed, and he sighed with relief. “Bruce. It is good to see you again.”

“It is?” Bruce asked, bewildered. “Uh, Thor? What's going on?”

“I am sure these are not what you are used to, Banner, but they will be better than what you are currently wearing,” Thor said, taking the clothes from Loki's grasp and setting them on the bed next to Bruce.

Bruce looked down at the bright yellow tunic and red pants and raised an eyebrow. “Whose clothes are these?”

“I am not sure,” Loki said. “But I did use several cleaning spells on them before I brought them here, so they should be fresh.”

“How about you dress in the en suite, Banner?” Thor asked. “And then you can join Loki and me in The Drinking Room?”

“The what?” Bruce asked before shaking his head. “I'm not sure I want to join him anywhere.”

“Banner,” Thor said, drawing Bruce's full attention to him. “It is okay, trust me.”

Bruce stared at him for a moment before nodding. He picked up the clothes and made his way into the en suite while Thor turned to Loki.

“Thank you for bringing the clothes, brother. And for being civil.”

“Did you expect me not to be?” Loki asked. “Heimdall and the Valkyrie told me what he did for our people.”

“It's just that you and Bruce have a history.”

Loki chuckled. “Thor, I have a history with practically all of your Midgardian friends. That does not mean I cannot be civil to them.”

“Well, yes, I suppose that is true, but I was just thinking that—”

“I think you should accompany Bruce to The Drinking Room,” Loki said, putting a hand on Thor's shoulder. “I shall take my drinks back to my room tonight. I don't want him to be uncomfortable.”

“That's unnecessary,” Thor started, but Loki just shook his head.

“No, I believe it is necessary,” Loki said, turning towards the door. “I shall see you at the council meeting in the morning, brother.”

“Try not to be so hungover this time!” Thor called out to him as Loki left the room.

A few moments later Bruce came back into the room looking extremely uncomfortable in the clothes he'd been given. He saw Thor watching him and gave him a small smile. “These aren't exactly my colors.”

Thor laughed heartily. “I am sure that we can probably find something less colorful on this ship somewhere,” he said. “I did not tell Loki who the clothes were for when I asked for him to bring them here.”

“I look like Ronald McDonald.”

“Who?”

“I'll show you when we get back to Earth,” Bruce said, looking around the room. “Where did your brother go?”

“To drink in his room so we could have The Drinking Room to ourselves,” Thor said, sighing. “He did not wish to make you uncomfortable.”

“That doesn't sound like him,” Bruce said.

“Actually, it does,” Thor said, smiling. “There is a lot you need to be told, Banner. Let us discuss it over a few drinks.”

Bruce was confused, but he found himself nodding and following Thor out of the room. “What do we have to discuss? And what does your brother have to do with it?”

“We have to discuss who has been controlling Loki,” Thor said, heading down the corridor towards The Drinking Room. “And we have to discuss what it is he wants. I'll explain everything I know, Banner, but someday you're going to have to sit with Loki and me and listen to him explain the rest. We're going to need all the help we can get.”

Bruce was more confused than ever. Someone was controlling Loki? He decided to save his questions until after Thor had told him what he knew. “Then I am looking forward to hearing what you have to say.”

“Good, I'm glad to hear it,” Thor said. “And I will tell you about what happened on Asgard and what it is Hulk did to help my people while I'm at it. The people here are indebted to you, and they will not shy away from letting you know it.”

“I didn't really do anything,” Bruce started as they walked into The Drinking Room, but once again Thor was having none of it.

“That's nonsense, Banner. I will not stand to listen to you downplay your heroic role any more. Now pick a bottle. I can't tell you what's in any of them, but so far they've all been alright in taste.”

Bruce looked around the room and saw more colors than he knew existed. “I think I'm alright, actually.”

“If you're sure,” Thor said, picking a bottle of something emerald green and walking over to the small counter with the glasses. “Have a seat, Banner, and I will tell you everything.”

Bruce sat down in one of the chairs on offer and Thor sat down next to him a few moments later. After a long sip from his glass, Thor started to tell Bruce everything that had happened since the fight on the Bifrost, stressing both the Hulk's heroic role in it and the importance of Loki's. When Thor got around to the Infinity Stones, Bruce sat transfixed as every single thing Loki had done to Thor since Thor's banishment, stuff that he'd heard Thor talk about a lot, was explained away as him being under the influence of this being named Thanos.

When Thor finished, he stood and refilled his drink, leaving Bruce to his thoughts. By the time Bruce was capable of forming sentences again, Thor had returned to his chair and was halfway through his new glass.

“Are you sure Loki isn't lying to you?” was the first thing that came out of Bruce's mouth, and that had not been what he'd planned on saying at all, but he went with it. “I mean, he's done an awful lot of lying in the past.”

“I am certain of it,” Thor said, taking another long sip. “I spoke at length with Heimdall about the possibility of this Thanos slipping past all of Asgard's defenses, and the moment I said the name Thanos, Heimdall assured me that he could have done it. My father, for all his greatness, had many faults and kept many secrets. Instead of staying vigilant of Thanos and informing his sons and heirs about him, he thought that Thanos had been cowed into giving up his quest. It is obvious now that this was not only not the case, but that Thanos decided to turn Loki into his pawn to spite my father.”

“I hear what you're saying, Thor, I really do,” Bruce said seriously. “But—”

“But you don't believe Loki.”

Bruce looked over at Thor with apologetic eyes. “Um, yeah. He tried to conquer Earth.”

“With a scepter that had an Infinity Stone inside of it,” Thor said. “There's no possible way he just acquired that on his own.”

“Are you sure of that?”

Thor looked over at Bruce and gave him a firm glare. “I believe my brother, Banner. You can choose not to if you wish, that is up to you, but do not try to convince me to do otherwise.”

“I'm sorry, Thor, but the last time I spoke to Loki he was ready to murder me.”

“I was not,” came Loki's voice, and they turned to watch him stumble slightly as he walked into the room with an empty bottle. “You asked me if I still wanted to kill everyone and I said it varied from moment to moment. And I only said that because no one would have believed me if I had said I never wanted to kill anyone ever again.”

“Loki, brother, please. Come and sit with us,” Thor said.

“No, brother,” Loki said, pulling a bottle of something purple off the shelf and placing the empty bottle in its place. “I have heard enough to know that I am not welcome.”

“You are always welcome, brother. You are a prince of this realm.”

“What realm, brother? All we have left is a cargo ship full of people. I destroyed our planet,” Loki said, pulling the top off the bottle and taking a long drink from it. “Now if you'll excuse me, I'd like to be alone.”

Thor sighed as Loki walked from the room, shaking his head. “He has drunk too much since we started our journey to Earth. But given what he has told me, I suppose I cannot blame him. I have never been controlled, but I cannot imagine having someone in your head for that long leaves you in the best of states.”

Bruce watched Thor as he stood and refilled his glass. “Not unlike how Barton apparently went a little crazy after New York. Nat said that Laura was ready to kick him out for a while.”

“Yes, well, I'm not kicking him out. He has nowhere to go. We all have nowhere to go.”

Bruce took in that realization. “I'm sorry, Thor. I can't imagine that this is easy.”

“Believe me, Banner. You have no idea how difficult it truly is.”

“So I will try to make it a little easier and tentatively agree to believe Loki,” Bruce continued. “But only because if what he's saying is true actually happens, then we're in a ton of trouble.”

Thor gave him a soft smile. “That is all that I can ask of you. Thank you.”

Bruce thought about what he'd just said for a moment before standing up. He'd just agreed to believe that Loki had been controlled by someone way, way worse this entire time and that the someone way, way worse was coming to destroy the universe. “You know what, Thor? I think I'll have that drink now.”


	4. there is a word for the way that i'm feeling tonight.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> At some point someone was going to have to do something about the fact that supplies were going to run out and they seemed to be eons away from something that most would have thought could be done about that.
> 
> or: Loki and Brunnhilde have their nightly bottle together, Brunnhilde mentions they're going to run out of food, and Loki learns some things.

Loki was in The Drinking Room and halfway through a bottle of something indigo in color when he looked up and saw Brunnhilde walk in. “Ah, the last living Valkyrie finally joins me. I was starting to think you wouldn't.”

“Believe me, I wish I had been here about an hour ago,” Brunnhilde said, randomly choosing something red off the wall closest to her and dropping down into the chair next to Loki. “Your brother is an idiot.”

Loki chuckled. “I could have told you that six centuries ago. What has he done?”

Brunnhilde took the top off the bottle and took a long sip before sighing heavily. “He's finally admitted that he has no idea where we're going.”

“I thought we were headed to Midgard,” Loki said, confused.

“We are,” Brunnhilde said. “But as everyone in Asgard has always traveled to Midgard via the Bifrost, the only person on board that has any slight idea of what direction Midgard is in is Heimdall, and while he can see Midgard from here, he can't tell us which actual direction it's in. Your brother has been trying to tell me for a week that he knows what he's talking about, but another day adrift in the cosmos without so much as a hint of another spaceship let alone a planet has finally got him to be truthful. Bruce was not happy.”

“No, I imagine the good Dr. Banner would much prefer to be able to return to Midgard as quickly as possible,” Loki said, shaking his head. “Surely we've got to be near something.”

“There's nothing on the radar screen for ages,” Brunnhilde said. “It's been nearly three weeks since Ragnarok, we have no idea where in Yggdrasil we are, and we're going to start running out of supplies.”

Loki tipped the bottle back down and looked over at her. “Supplies?”

“We've got what feels like an endless supply of booze in here but it's not endless,” Brunnhilde said. “But that's in abundance compared to everything else on this ship. Food's going to be running out in ten, maybe twelve, days. Water is going to be scarce not long after that. This ship was stocked with stuff but it wasn't made for transporting this many people for this long of a time. We're all going to die from starvation before we get anywhere where we can get some help.”

Loki sat there quietly for a moment before standing up. “Come with me.”

Brunnhilde watched as he walked towards the door. “What?”

“I said come with me,” Loki said, waving at her to join him. “Come on now.”

She just rolled her eyes and stood, clutching onto her bottle as she followed after him. “This had better be worth it. I've been looking forward to sitting down all day.”

“It will be,” Loki said as they started walking down the corridor. “Honestly, I don't know why anyone hasn't bothered to tell me these things sooner.”

“Tell you what things?” Brunnhilde was confused. “I don't understand what we're talking about.”

“I may not be Odin's progeny, Brunnhilde,” Loki said, turning to look at her with a smile on his face. “But I am my mother's son.”

“Okay, now I'm even more confused,” she said. “What does the Queen have to do with anything?”

“Why don't you ever call my mother by her name, by the way? You refer to Odin by his all the time.”

Brunnhilde coughed slightly. “Can you explain what it is we're doing, please? I'd like to go back to drinking.”

Loki stopped and turned towards her. “You don't know my mother's name, do you?”

Brunnhilde sighed heavily. “I don't like getting involved in Odin's family squabbles.”

“You helped us defeat my murderous sister. Are you not involved enough already to answer my question?”

Brunnhilde brought her bottle up to her lips and took a long pull from it. “No, I don't know your mother's name.”

“How does a Valkyrie not know her queen's name?”

Brunnhilde took another long pull from her bottle. “Your mother was not my queen.”

Loki stared at her, his eyes blinking, for several moments before Brunnhilde spun around on her heels. “See, this is why I wasn't going to say anything.”

Loki reached out and grabbed her by the elbow, and he found himself backed up against the wall with a knife to his throat before he could blink again. “I have no quarrel with what you just said, Brunnhilde. It just made a lot of things fall into place in my mind and make a lot of sense.”

Brunnhilde backed away and sheathed her knife. “You thought your mother was Hela's mother, didn't you?”

“I did, yes,” Loki said, pushing away from the wall and resuming his walk. “And I now understand why you do not know my mother's name.”

Brunnhilde fell into step beside him and they turned down another corridor before she spoke. “May I know what it is we are doing?”

“We are going to the food stores,” Loki said. “There has to be something down there that I can work with.”

“Excuse me?” Brunnhilde asked as they approached the lift that would take them down to the belly of the ship. “What are you talking about?”

Once they were in the lift and Loki pressed the button to make it lower, he turned to face her. “My mother's pride was her garden. I spent hours upon hours in the garden with her, not just sitting and enjoying the setting, but also tending it.”

Brunnhilde stared at him as Loki took a long drink from his bottle. “So you can tend a garden. What's your point?”

“My point is that my mother is the one who taught me in the ways of magic,” Loki said as the lift came to a stop. “And she taught me to tend the garden just the same.”

Loki walked off the lift, leaving Brunnhilde there to ponder what he had said. She pushed off the wall a couple of minutes later and walked after him. “You tended it with magic? You can grow food with magic?”

“Some of my mother's favorite fruit trees were grown from my magic,” Loki said, setting his bottle to the side and opening one of the few food boxes that had yet to be opened. “I'm not saying I'm going to grow fruit trees, but...”

“But you could grow food for the people,” Brunnhilde said, walking over to him and setting her bottle down next to his. “What are we searching for?”

“Some sort of tuber,” Loki said. “Potatoes, hopefully. That was always the basis for my fruit trees.”

"And what of the fact that we're going to run out of water?"

Loki turned towards an empty box and touched it, and Brunnhilde gasped as the box turned into a vase. She walked over to it and peered inside to find it full of water. "How can you do that?"

"I turned the box into the vase and created the water from the vapors in the air," Loki said, walking back to his box. "Very easy to do. Now let's see if we can find some sort of tuber."

Brunnhilde cracked open another of the boxes and they worked in silence as they went through them until she opened the last box, a smile crossing her face when she saw what was inside it. “Loki. Here.”

Loki came over to her and peered into the box, seeing it full of potatoes. “Perfect.”

“Alright, what do we do now?”

“Take the box and follow me,” Loki said. “We're going to find a room to commandeer and grow things in.”

Brunnhilde did as Loki asked, and a few minutes later they were taking potatoes out of the box in a small, gray room just off the kitchens. When they reached a point where Brunnhilde's help was no longer needed, she sat down on the floor and watched as Loki began to work his magic, literally.

“So are you ever going to tell me what your mother's name was?”

“I will in return for some information.”

“Information about what?”

Loki turned to look at her. “Information about the queen who proceeded my mother.”

Brunnhilde sighed heavily. “I meant what I said about your family squabbles.”

“No squabbles here,” Loki said. “All the pertinent people involved are dead. I merely wish to know more about Odin and his lies.”

“I thought you'd made peace with them.”

“I've made peace with the lies Odin told me about my parentage,” Loki said. “I have not made peace with the lies Odin told me about other things.”

“You mean Hela.”

“Of course. How could I possibly have made peace with that already?” Loki asked, turning back to his potatoes. “But that is not what we're talking about. I will gladly exchange the information you want for the information I want.”

“Then I want to know more than just your mother's name,” Brunnhilde said. “I want to know about her.”

“Fine,” Loki said. “My mother's name was Frigga.”

“Frigga? Really?” Brunnhilde laughed. “I suppose I shouldn't be so surprised. Odin always was taken with her.”

Loki glanced behind him. “You know of her?”

“Frigga of the Vanir? Of course, I do. Every time Freyr visited and brought his daughter along, oh how Odin would charm her. Scandalized some of the elders at the court, but Odin never cared,” Brunnhilde said. “I'm sure Gaea didn't care much for it though she never let anyone know otherwise.”

“Gaea?”

“Odin's first queen,” Brunnhilde said. “Hela's mother.”

“I thought Gaea was Midgard's Mother Goddess.”

“She was,” Brunnhilde said. “Your grandfather Bor found her there and brought her to Asgard, married her off to Odin to align Midgard to us. She tried to talk Odin into letting her return there to peacefully bring Midgard under control, likely because she instinctively knew that Midgard did not need an army, but Odin sent Hela instead. I think their marriage was pretty broken after that, or at least, that were the rumors going around the court.”

“What happened to her?”

Brunnhilde sighed. “Hela did not like how Odin was starting to talk more of treaties and negotiations than attacks and war, and she stormed the palace with her followers to try to overthrow him. Gaea threw herself in her daughter's way, and Hela killed her. I think Odin had no choice but to imprison her after that.”

Loki fell silent and Brunnhilde looked over at him after a minute to find his head bowed and shoulders shaking. “Loki?”

When he didn't answer, she stood up and walked towards him. She put her hand on Loki's shoulder and spun him around to find tears streaming down his cheeks. “Loki? What is it? What did I say to upset you so?”

“Hela killed her mother and I killed mine,” Loki said, his voice breaking.

Brunnhilde pulled her hand away. “What?”

“Not in the same way,” Loki got out. “It was when the Dark Elves attacked to try and regain the aether. There was a Kursed in the dungeons where I was, and he set all the prisoners free but me. While they fought, he made his way towards the stairs, and I told him how to get to the throne room. Malekith killed Mother there.”

As Loki spoke, Thor's words at the earlier council meeting Loki had not been invited to attend rang in her ears. This being, Thanos, has been controlling Loki for what could possibly be decades, most likely working to destabilize not only Asgard but Odin himself.

“Loki,” Brunnhilde said, reaching out and pulling him into her arms. “It's not your fault. It wasn't you.”

Loki pulled back at her words, staring at her through red-rimmed eyes. “Thor told you, didn't he?”

“About Thanos? Yes,” Brunnhilde said. “I understand now why you're drinking so much.”

“Yes, well, I would have preferred to tell you myself,” Loki said, reaching up to wipe away the remnants of his tears. “That was not his story to tell.”

“He's the King, he is responsible for the safety of everyone on this ship, and if this Thanos is coming, then he has to prepare for it, and part of preparing for it is informing his generals,” Brunnhilde said, sucking in a deep breath. “His generals might be no more than Heimdall and me, but it's something.”

“I feel foolish. I should not have let you see that.”

“For what? Letting me see that you cared for your mother?” Brunnhilde just shook her head. “Loki, if I had been through what you've been through, I'd probably be crying all the time. I know I did that for plenty of decades after the deaths of my sisters. And I don't want you to ever tell anyone that I said that.”

“I shall keep your secret.”

“And I shall keep yours. Loki, we've got a plan together.”

“A plan?”

“Korg found a room full of weapons three days ago,” Brunnhilde said. “Starting tomorrow, the remaining people of Asgard are going to be trained in shifts. The men with Heimdall and the women with me. Even the children are going to need some sort of self-defense training.”

“You should tap into the children's seiðr,” Loki said. “That way they can defend themselves without swords.”

“I can't teach magic,” Brunnhilde said. “And while I know Heimdall uses some, I don't think he can teach what you're talking about either. You should do it after you get the food growing of course. We need to be able to eat.”

Loki turned away from her and back to his potatoes, taking a few deep breaths before returning to where he'd left off. “I shall think about it.”

“That's a start,” Brunnhilde said. “Tell me a story about your mother and I will tell you one about Gaea if you wish.”

“Alright,” Loki said. “Just give me a moment to think of a good one that embarrasses Thor first. And where did our alcohol go?”

“I think it's still in the kitchens,” Brunnhilde said. “I'll get it while you're thinking about how terribly you wish to embarrass your king in front of his last living Valkyrie.”

“Well, when you put it that way...”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> yeah so Thor's mother in the comics is Jord, otherwise known as Gaea, and I've just taken her and made her Hela's mother here in my little headcanon.


	5. my tears don't fall too often.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Because really, isn't it just so true of all families that the important stuff comes out during late night chats where alcohol is involved? Korg thinks so.
> 
> or: Thor's telling stories of his old friends, Loki realizes Thor actually paid attention to something important, and there's some (brotherly) love going on.

Loki walked into The Drinking Room to find Thor inside, halfway through a bottle of something yellowish in color and making big hand gestures as he described a battle long past to Korg. He was about to turn around and leave when Thor called out his name.

“Loki! Do come and sit with us, brother!”

Loki sighed heavily and walked towards the nearest wall, grabbed the nearest bottle, something silver in color, and headed towards where Thor was. He dropped down into the chair next to his brother, took the top off the bottle, and drank a long pull from it before he said a thing. “What battle are we recounting now?”

“Oh, I was just telling Korg about the Warriors Three and Lady Sif,” Thor said, his boisterous tone suddenly solemn, “since he will be unable to meet them himself.”

Loki paused at that, did a quick survey of everyone on the ship in his mind, and realized that none of the Warriors Three were on board. “Hela?” he asked quietly.

“According to Heimdall, yes,” Thor said. “At least the Warriors. He could not account for Sif.”

Loki took another long pull from the bottle before turning to his brother. “Sif is fine.”

Thor gave him a confused look. “Loki, she did not survive. She is not on this ship.”

“She does not have to be on this ship to be fine,” Loki said, cursing inwardly when he realized Thor was going to make him say it. “I sent her off world.”

“Beg your pardon?”

Loki took another very long drink. “You know Sif. She's very astute, notices details. I was convinced she'd notice that Odin wasn't really Odin in a heartbeat. So I sent her off world.”

Loki saw a lot of emotions flash through Thor's eyes, but he relaxed when he saw that Thor settled upon hope.

“So you're telling me that Sif is alive?” Thor asked, a bright smile crossing his face. “Oh, brother, that is great news.”

“I am saying that she should be alive,” Loki stressed. “Whether she got herself killed or not is entirely up to her.”

Thor reached over and clasped Loki's shoulder with one of his large hands. “Thank you, brother.”

“I don't know what you're thanking me for,” Loki started, but Thor just shook his head.

“No, brother. I mean it.”

“It was almost like you had the gift of foresight,” Korg said, making Loki suddenly remember that he was also sitting with them. “You don't have that gift, do you? Thor's been telling me all kinds of stories of the things that you can do.”

Loki gave Thor a confused look. “What kind of stories have you been telling?”

“Of your cunning use of magic on the battlefield, of course,” Thor said, turning back to Korg. “Loki never was much of a fighter, you see, but he was a great tactician. So he'd plan out all of these attacks for the forces, and then we'd get to where the plans were to start, and I'd do something foolish like charge in with my hammer and mess them all up, and he'd save me by doing something with magic. I'm really alive because of him.”

Loki felt an extremely hard lump form in his throat as Thor continued on talking to Korg, and he tipped his bottle back and tried to drink around it. When he brought the bottle back down, his eyes were wet with tears that he was determined he would not let himself shed.

Thor had noticed.

All those years of saving his idiot brother in life or death situations in battles all over the nine realms and Thor was finally letting him know that he'd noticed that Loki had done that. He'd never made one mention of it before, not in front of the Warriors and Sif or in private, and here he was, talking to a literal pile of rocks and telling him all about how Loki had saved him.

Loki didn't really know how to take that.

“Brother?”

Thor's voice broke through to Loki and Loki shook himself out of his thoughts to find the tears were streaming down his cheeks, Thor was crouched next to his chair, and Korg was gone.

“Brother,” Loki said shakily. “I'm fine.”

“Loki, you're crying,” Thor said, shaking his head. “I haven't seen you cry since you were fourteen.”

Loki chuckled weakly. “Then you have just not noticed.”

“Brother, what is it?” Thor asked. “What have I done to make you cry?”

Loki felt the lump in his throat come back with a vengeance. “You noticed,” he got out before he forced himself to take another drink.

“I noticed what?” Thor asked, confused.

“That I saved you,” Loki said, trying to bring himself together. “You noticed.”

“Of course I noticed!” Thor exclaimed, then his brow furrowed. “Did I never say anything about it?”

“Not a word,” Loki said, finding it easier to speak than he'd been anticipating. “You would always recount the battles to Father and my role in them would never be mentioned or appreciated. It was always, 'oh, Loki stabbed a few things with his daggers too, Father, but I did this, this, and this.' Never, 'Loki saved my ass, Father, and thank the Norns he did or I wouldn't be here right now.'”

Thor stood up at that and reached for the bottle he'd abandoned, taking a long drink straight from it. “I am sorry, brother, for slighting you so,” he eventually said as he sat down, shaking his head. “Loki, I am beginning to think I was not a very good brother to you.”

“No, it is not that,” Loki said. “You were a great brother. But you were always favored and I never understood why that was, and then as we grew older and you were the great warrior who couldn't even acknowledge my part in our battles and I was the one that your closest friends constantly belittled without you saying a single word to them about it, I began to wonder if you saw me for who I was at all. I think that is one of the reasons that Thanos preyed upon me. He saw an opportunity not only to destabilize Odin but also to destabilize you. Because you have to admit, brother, you were quite easy to manipulate. A few words one way and I had you doing exactly what I wanted you to do. Or, should I say, what he wanted you to do.”

“We'll get back to Thanos in a minute,” Thor said, looking over at Loki. “Did you really believe that I did not see you for who you were?”

“I bet you cannot name one of my favorite books, one of my favorite hymns, or one of my favorite of Mother's handmaidens. In the meantime, I knew the names of every sparring partner you had as you trained. I knew the names of every woman who even approached you with a smile, let alone an attempt to chat. I knew the names of every single friendly face you spoke to on a daily basis, as they usually only spoke to me if I was with you. I had no friends but your friends, and they treated me as a nuisance instead of a friend.”

Thor stared at him for a few moments before his head dropped. “Brother, I am sorry.”

“I don't want to hear that you're sorry, Thor,” Loki said, taking another long drink. “The past is the past, and those people are gone now. And as much as it hurts, so are the Warriors. All I am asking of you is that you don't repeat the same behavior in the future. Because if you start shunting me to the side like I was before, I will leave and not come back.”

“I am a different man now, Loki, and I believe you are a different man as well,” Thor said. “I plan on keeping you close, brother. And not just to keep an eye on you as some suspect is my motivation. I wish to do so because I need your council more than any other's.”

“Why?” Loki asked. “You don't trust me.”

Thor sighed heavily and took a pull from his bottle. “It's not that I don't trust you, Loki. It's that I don't know what he'll make you do next. You said it yourself that night. You undid all the spellwork you could, but what if there continues to be spellwork that you are unaware of that is controlling you to this very moment?”

Loki took four very long pulls from his bottle before answering. “You are probably right about that, brother. Thanos's magic is dark and ancient, but it's also subtle. It's very hard to notice. Mother taught me to recognize someone else's magical signature having a hold of me, but I never noticed his. Mother never noticed it either.”

“How far back do you think it goes?” Thor asked after a moment. “How long have you not been yourself?”

“I have spent plenty of time thinking on that,” Loki said, taking another drink. “I think it goes back to when I first started exploring Asgard for ways to get off world that did not involve the Bifrost. Looking back upon that now, I have no idea why I would have done such a thing. I love Asgard more than anything, you know this.”

“And how long ago was that?”

Loki sighed heavily. “Seven decades ago.”

Thor almost dropped the bottle he was holding. “Seven DECADES ago?”

“It makes the most sense to me,” Loki said, taking another long drink. “I aligned it with Midgardian history, and the beginnings of my exploration of Asgard for such portals began around the same time as the Tesseract was first found during what the Midgardians call World War Two. I believe that is the conflict where your friend the Captain was made.”

“You think he was grooming you even then for an assault on Midgard to acquire the Tesseract?”

“I think it's not out of the realm of possibility,” Loki said. “But he had to wait for things to align themselves on Asgard. That meant he had to wait for Father to crown you so that I could sabotage your coronation and begin the war with Jotunheim. And I think he picked Jotunheim for a reason.”

Thor watched as Loki took another very long drink. “You think he knew of your parentage.”

“I am convinced of it,” Loki said. “It was something about me that he could prey upon at the right moment. He knew I would not take the knowledge of being told I was nothing more than a stolen relic to be returned at the right moment well.”

“What?” Thor asked. “I do not understand.”

Loki laughed bitterly. “Oh, Odin left that out, did he? He took me so that I could be used to broker a long-term peace, not out of any sort of good in his heart.”

“I do not believe that Father could have possibly meant it that way.”

“Well, that's what he told me,” Loki said, staring at the bottle in his hands. “Surely you realize now after our encounter with Hela that Odin was not who he seemed to be, brother.”

“You are right about that,” Thor said, sighing. “Loki, I cannot say that I understand, brother, for I never will, but, I would like to try to get as close to understanding as I can get.”

“Well, these little late night chats are helping,” Loki said. “I finally get to say to you things that I've wanted to say for years. Such as...”

“Such as what?”

“Do you still harbor such a need to destroy all the Frost Giants now knowing you grew up calling one your brother?”

Thor stood up and took the bottle from Loki's hands, ignoring his yelp and pulling him out of the chair and into his arms. “Brother, I care for you, not the color of your skin beneath the glamour. And if you are telling me that I have been manipulated by someone controlling you for three-quarters of a century and that I have not had you, the real you, for that long, then I am even angrier than I was before. I will hunt this Thanos down and kill him myself for hurting you so.”

Loki felt the lump in his throat form again as tears came rushing back to his eyes. “You can't kill him, not by yourself.”

“Then you and I will assemble the greatest team of warriors this universe has ever seen,” Thor said firmly. “And we will destroy him.”

Loki let his eyes close to keep the tears from falling and fell further into Thor's embrace. “Thank you,” he mumbled into Thor's shoulder. “I needed to hear that.”

“I mean it, brother,” Thor said. “And if he is listening now, then he is being warned.”

Loki took in his brother's warmth around him and told himself it was all going to be okay, but deep down, there was a part of him that knew that Thor had no idea what he was talking about. He hadn't seen what Loki had seen, he hadn't felt what Loki had felt, and he hadn't experienced what Loki had experienced.

And Thanos was coming for Loki, whether Thor liked it or not.


	6. and i see the permanent damage.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> He had no idea how it was there, and there was no proper way to brew it, but there was canister after canister of it in the room adjacent to The Drinking Room, and it made Bruce feel like home.
> 
> or: Loki just wants to drink in peace, Bruce is sipping at something familiar, and a hypothesis is formed.

Leaving the room that Brunnhilde had dubbed The Farming Room behind, Loki stumbled down the corridors until he was in the lift. He leaned up against the wall for several moments before reaching out and pressing the button to make it rise, closing his eyes as it began to move. The food he was growing for the people was going fine, but it was taking more energy and magic than he'd been anticipating. He knew that for his own good he should go to the room that was his and fall into the small bed, let sleep claim him and allow it to replenish both his energy and seiðr reserves, but he also knew that he wouldn't be able to sleep if he did.

The lift came to a stop and he pushed himself away from the wall, forcing his legs to move towards The Drinking Room. He barely paid attention as he made his way through the corridors and inside, grabbing the first bottle he saw, something green that he vaguely recognized from being in the Grandmaster's menagerie, and collapsing down into a chair. He tore the top off the bottle and brought it to his lips, letting the alcohol burn on the way down his throat. He let out a large sigh of relief as he moved the bottle away, slumping down into the chair and closing his eyes.

“You look terrible.”

Loki's eyes snapped open and he glanced to his left to see Bruce sitting there, peering at him over the top of a glass of something black in color. “What are you drinking?”

“Coffee,” Bruce said. “I couldn't believe I actually found some on a spaceship, but I did. It's cold, but I'm dealing with it. No one else seems to have any taste for it, which is fine because it means more for me. And don't think I didn't notice that you ignored what I said.”

Loki blinked several times. “I'm just tired, that's all.”

“Then why don't you go to sleep?”

“Because I can't sleep,” Loki said, cursing inwardly for the fact that Bruce wanted to have a conversation. “Just leave me to drink in peace, please.”

“I think it's more than that,” Bruce said, sipping at his drink. “Your brother has noticed that you're not taking care of yourself, you know.”

Loki let out a small laugh. “I highly doubt that. Thor notices very little when it comes to me.”

“Is that why you haven't told him that you're growing food for the people?” Loki's head snapped around to stare at Bruce, but Bruce just shrugged. “What? The Valkyrie told me what you're doing. I questioned where the fresh fruit came from.”

Loki sighed again. “That was not her place to do.”

“Maybe not,” Bruce said, “but it is something that your brother should know about. You're singlehandedly keeping everyone on this ship alive.”

“That's not true,” Loki started, but Bruce shook his head.

“We ran out of the food supplies that were on this ship a week and a half ago,” Bruce said. “I overheard the ladies that are doing all the cooking say so. And I don't know when we ran out of water but I suspect you have something to do with why we still have that too.”

Loki tipped back his bottle and took a long drink. “What is your point?”

“My point is that you should get some credit for what you're doing,” Bruce said. “Even from someone like me.”

Loki refused to allow himself to believe that the noise he'd just admitted was as undignified as a snort. “I don't know why you'd want to give me credit for anything,” he said, his voice scathing. “Last I knew, you wanted me dead.”

Now it was Bruce's turn to sigh heavily. “Look, do I trust you? No. Do I think you're going to betray your brother? Yes. But you're doing a lot of things that are the antithesis of things that I'd expect from you, so I don't really know what to think. I know I certainly don't want to go green and beat the living snot out of you no matter how much I'm sure Hulk would enjoy that, that's for sure.”

“I have no plans to betray my brother,” Loki said softly. “I would never betray my brother, and it sickens me that while under his control, I did.”

Bruce watched while Loki took several more long pulls from his bottle. “You really love your brother, don't you?”

Loki nearly choked. He coughed a few times before glancing over at Bruce. “What is it to you?”

“I'm curious,” Bruce said. “And you're the only one here to talk to. Besides, I'm forming a hypothesis.”

Loki let his head drop back against the chair. He sat there quietly for a few minutes before turning his head to look at Bruce. “Yes, I love my brother. He is all I have left. The fact that he still speaks to me after everything that I have done, even though it was not truly me? That astounds me. I fully expected to be rejected and be completely on my own.”

Bruce sipped at his drink again. “You really thought Thor would reject you?”

“You don't know my brother very well,” Loki said. “You've only known him for a few years. I've known him for centuries.”

“He's told me that he used to be quite different.”

“That's one word for it. Brash, arrogant, cocksure, petty. He wanted nothing but women and battle, and not necessarily in that order. If there was one good thing to come from this manipulation, it was that the Allfather did not make him king when he had planned to. It has meant that all of these terrible things have happened since, but it has also meant that now that Thor is the king, he is ready for it.”

Bruce hummed a bit before sipping from his drink. “So he wasn't a very good brother then?”

“He was and he wasn't. It was never as though he didn't care for me, but most of the time he just didn't see me. I was just someone who was there and was dragged into whatever it was he was doing. I hated going off to battles, but did I ever stay behind and help heal the wounded like I should have done? No, I went off to battle with Thor. I hated going out to taverns with his friends where all I could do was listen to them recount their training and watch them attempt to court women, but was I ever allowed to stay at home and just read a book? No, I was dragged out with Thor every night and forced to sit there while everyone was gawked over but me. I was like his pet more than his brother at times.”

Loki took a couple of pulls from his bottle. “I still have a hard time with knowing how easy it was for all of them to believe I'd turn on him and try to kill him. No one even thought for a moment that something might be wrong. It was just, 'oh Loki's finally so jealous that he'll kill everyone he can to get on the throne.' If that had been the case, I would have killed Odin, not Thor. Odin was the king. Thor was banished; he wasn't coming back. But I didn't want to kill anyone. I never wanted to kill anyone.”

Loki sucked in a shuddering breath as he realized what he was doing and took a very long drink from his bottle. “Why are you getting me to tell you such things?”

“I told you, I'm forming a hypothesis,” Bruce said. “So you never wanted to kill anyone, huh?”

Loki laughed bitterly. “Not really. I knew as I grew that it was inevitable, but still, it was never something I wanted. I nearly threw up on the battlefield after the first time I killed a man.”

Bruce watched him for a moment. “Did it get easier?”

“All things get easier in time,” Loki said, taking another pull from his bottle. “I suppose killing is no different. However, I never sought out glory in battles and even if I had, I never would have been given it. I just would have been pushed to the back and Father told all about how Thor had won the day for us. That was always the way it was.”

“You didn't answer my question,” Bruce said. “Did killing get easier?”

Loki took five long pulls from his bottle before answering. “No, it didn't. Your hypothesis about how I'm a crazed psychopath with murderous tendencies torn apart now?”

“I never said that was my hypothesis,” Bruce said, taking another sip of his coffee. “It's not easy for me to kill either.”

“You have the Hulk and you expect me to believe that?” Loki asked, laughing. “I'm the Prince of Lies, Bruce. I can spot a lie from very far away. Don't lie to me.”

“I'm not,” Bruce said, taking another sip. “What the Hulk does, I never really know. But I know that people die at his hands and I'm not comfortable with it at all. In fact, it makes me sick.”

Their eyes met and Loki took in Bruce's look before deciding that he wasn't lying. “I'm sorry,” he said softly. “I just assumed...”

“Most people do,” Bruce said. “Just as I did about you.”

Loki nodded. “People always assume about me. Always. Very few bother to actually find out the truth.”

“Well, from now on, I'm going to find out the truth,” Bruce said.

“And why is that? I'm useless.” Loki hated himself the moment he said it. Why was he continuing to say these things to him? “Never mind.”

“You're far from useless. You're keeping everyone alive. And I'm going to find out the truth because my hypothesis is complete.”

Loki laughed. “You going to tell me what it is, Bruce? What have you concluded about me?”

“No,” Bruce said, shaking his head. “I don't think so.”

Loki sighed and took a long pull from his bottle. “Typical Midgardian nonsense.”

“It's not, not really,” Bruce said, standing up and walking over to him. “Loki, I know that we have a history and that it's not a pleasant one, but what you're doing for the people on this ship, it means a lot. To me. To a lot of people. And I think you deserve to know that, even if you don't.”

Bruce started walking towards the door as Loki shook his head. “I don't deserve anything.”

“I'm pretty sure you'll find a bunch of people on this ship who disagree with that too,” Bruce said, pausing in the doorway. “Good night, Loki. Get some sleep. You really look like you need it.”

Loki watched him leave and reached for his bottle, taking a very long pull from it. Bruce was just talking nonsense. Typical Midgardian nonsense.

But...

He was acknowledging him.

Bruce Banner.

The man who was the Hulk.

The one who had thrown him about and called him a puny god.

That man was acknowledging something Loki had done and that it was good.

Bruce Banner thought Loki had done something good.

Loki took a long drink from his bottle and stood up, stumbling towards the door. Maybe he really did need some sleep.

If he was thinking that, then he was clearly delusional.


	7. i try to make the worse seem way better.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> So it may have been about two standard months since she'd picked him up out of the trash heaps of Sakaar and brought him to the Grandmaster, but why oh why did that mean that he needed to know her name?
> 
> or: Thor wants to know the name of his last living Valkyrie, said last living Valkyrie lets her king know he's blind about his own brother and heir, and said brother and heir shows up and isn't too pleased with what's being discussed.

“Are you ever going to tell me your name?”

Brunnhilde looked up from where she'd been perusing the bottles on offer in The Drinking Room to see Thor standing in the doorway, a weary look on his face. “You look like you could use a drink, Your Majesty.”

“You're avoiding my question,” Thor said, walking into the room and coming to a stop next to her. “It has been a while now, Valkyrie. I think it is time to know your name.”

Brunnhilde sighed heavily, grabbed the closest bottle, and walked towards a chair. “You're persistent.”

“So I've been told,” Thor said, reaching for something dark blue and heading towards the small counter to get a glass. “Do not make me command you as your king.”

Brunnhilde sighed again. “There are reasons I left that name behind. I am working on the idea of reclaiming it.”

“I do not understand,” Thor said, sitting down in the chair next to hers. “It is just your name.”

“Yes, but it is also the name that she...” Brunnhilde paused. “My...when I lost her, I wanted to forgo everything that reminded me of her, of my Valkyrior sisters. So I ended up a scrapper known by a number, not a name and that helped ease my pain. To hear people on this ship call me by that name, I, well, I'm not sure I'm ready for it.”

Thor sipped at his drink as he thought of what to say. “I understand that you wanted to forget. But you told me that it was time to stop living in a haze. Maybe that means it's time to remember.”

Brunnhilde took a long drink from her bottle, something bright pink and sweeter than she liked but would suffice. “Perhaps. But remembering involves pain, and bearing that name is painful.”

“Then why did you tell Loki?”

Brunnhilde's head snapped around to stare at Thor. “How do you know that?”

“Heimdall told me. He would not tell me what your name was, however.”

Brunnhilde took a very long drink. “Of course Heimdall was listening. How many of the late-night conversations that take place in here do you think he listens to?”

“Probably all of them,” Thor said. “You're not answering my question.”

Brunnhilde brought a hand up to pinch at the bridge of her nose. “I told Loki because he told me some very private things and I thought I should respond in kind.”

“And we have not spoken of private things?”

“Not like that,” Brunnhilde said. “I will tell you on one condition.”

“Name it.”

“You don't start calling me it all the time,” she said seriously. “I'm not ready for the whole ship to be calling me by that name.”

“Agreed,” Thor said, taking another sip of his drink. “What is your name?”

“My name is Brunnhilde,” she said, taking a long pull from her bottle.

“Brunnhilde,” Thor murmured. “So not only do I have the last living Valkyrie in front of me, but I have the head of the order.”

She looked over at him. “You know of me?”

“Of course I do,” Thor said. “I believe I told you I wanted to be a Valkyrie when I was younger. I learned all about the Valkyrior.”

Brunnhilde took another long drink. “Please don't ask for any stories.”

“Oh no, I will not do that to you,” Thor said, his tone considerate. “But now that I know exactly who you are, I have a request. I had the request anyway, but more so now.”

“What request?”

“I do not know what we are facing,” Thor said, his demeanor suddenly more weary than Brunnhilde had ever seen. “I know not what our reception on Earth will be, and I worry about it more with the knowledge of the Infinity Stones that we come with. But I don't know what this threat of Thanos will be either, and as such, these are trying times for Asgard and its people.”

Brunnhilde understood all that. “So what are you asking me?”

“I'm asking you to reform the Valkyrior,” Thor said gently, as though not to sting her with his words.

Brunnhilde stared at him for a few moments. “No.”

Thor watched as she tipped her bottle back. “Asgard needs it more now than ever.”

Brunnhilde brought the bottle down from her lips and shook her head. “The Valkyrior protects the throne, not the people. And the answer is still no.”

“I would want that to change as well,” Thor said. “I am not expecting this to be done overnight but surely there are some you train who have some gift with a sword.”

Brunnhilde glared at him over the top of her bottle for a while, and Thor felt withered under her gaze. Eventually, she sighed heavily and slumped down into the chair. “I cannot reform the Valkyrior, Your Majesty. But I am willing to compromise.”

“Compromise how?”

“A new division of the Einherjar.”

“A new division?”

“One for women only,” Brunnhilde said. “It starts with the women who have been drafted into service because of this looming conflict. After this conflict ends, it turns into a voluntary commitment. I will give you a fine division, Your Majesty, but it cannot be the Valkyrior.”

Thor watched as she took an even longer drink from her bottle. “The wounds. They are still fresh even after all this time?”

“They were reopened by seeing Hela again,” Brunnhilde said softly. “And by your brother forcing me to relive the memory of my sisters' demise.”

Thor looked scandalized. “Loki has done what?”

“It was while we were on Sakaar,” Brunnhilde said in between pulls. “He has since apologized.”

“As he should have,” Thor said firmly. “You have my apologies as well.”

“I don't need your apologies,” she said. “I need you to tell me that my compromise is enough, Your Majesty.”

“Thor.”

“Beg your pardon?”

“My name is Thor,” he said. “And I have asked you to stop calling me that.”

“Alright then, Thor,” Brunnhilde said. “Is my compromise enough?”

“It is, Brunnhilde,” Thor said, raising his glass to her. “Let us drink upon it.”

“That I can definitely agree to,” she said, raising her bottle to him before bringing it to her lips.

Thor settled his glass against his thigh and sighed heavily. “I know you said you do not need them, but I do mean my apologies on behalf of my brother. Sometimes, I wonder about his sanity when I hear of him doing such things.”

“Well, if I'd had someone in my head for as long as he's had, I'd have lost it a bit too,” Brunnhilde said. “He's trying to make things right.”

“He's doing nothing but drinking himself into oblivion,” Thor said. “He does not even show up for council meetings anymore.”

“That is because he's working himself to the point of exhaustion, and he just gets to a moment where he passes out and sleeps,” Brunnhilde replied. “The rest of the time is spent keeping everyone alive.”

Thor gave her a confused look. “What do you speak of?”

“Haven't you wondered where all the food is coming from?” she asked. “There was only so much food on this ship, Thor. It was only going to last for so long.”

Thor blinked rapidly as Brunnhilde tipped her bottle back. “We ran out of food?”

“We ran out of food about three weeks ago,” she said. “We ran out of water about four days after that. If it weren't for your brother, we'd all be dead right now.”

Thor thought about what she was saying for a few moments before it hit him. “Mother's garden,” he murmured. “Loki always used to help Mother tend to her garden.”

“Yup,” Brunnhilde said. “There's a room down by the kitchens that are filled with all kinds of crops. We obviously don't have any meat but what Loki's growing is enough to sustain us.”

“Why has he not told me of this?”

“I think the better question is why have you not noticed?” Brunnhilde said. “He wasn't kidding when he said you don't see him.”

Thor downed the rest of his drink and quickly stood, going and pouring himself another. “I...”

“You have no excuse for it,” Brunnhilde said. “We're all trapped on this thing headed Norns knows where. There are no battles, there are no taverns. No women at court to distract you. You just aren't paying attention.”

Thor knocked back his drink and poured himself another. “Does he really feel that way? As though I don't see him?”

“Of course I do,” came Loki's voice, and they both turned to see him leaning against the doorway. “It's no different than before. And this is after the conversation we had about how you never see me.”

“I thought that was about the past,” Thor said.

“When did I ever say that?” Loki asked, pushing off the wall and into the room.

“How much did you hear?” Brunnhilde asked.

“Enough,” Loki said, grabbing a bottle of something red and collapsing down into a chair. “I thought we agreed The Farming Room was our little secret.”

“He deserved to know what you were doing.”

“He deserved to figure it out himself.”

“The Farming Room?” Thor asked, interrupting them.

“The room with the crops,” Brunnhilde filled in, turning her attention back to Loki. “Don't get angry with me. I've been telling you to talk to him for weeks now.”

“Well, it's rather difficult to,” Loki said, tearing the top off the bottle in his hands. “I never know if I'm speaking to my brother, my king, a man who probably wants to kill me, or a combination of the three.”

“Loki, I would never want to kill you,” Thor said.

“But you were going to, weren't you?” Loki said. “That day on Midgard, when Odin died. If Hela had not shown up at that moment, you would have killed me.”

Thor froze as Loki brought his bottle to his lips, and Brunnhilde was left to flick her gaze between the two brothers.

“I was not going to kill you,” Thor eventually said, prompting Loki to laugh in a very undignified manner.

“Nothing you say will ever make me believe that to be true, brother.”

“Well, it's not like you've never tried to kill me,” Thor countered after a moment.

“That wasn't me,” Loki said, his voice bitter. “And how many conversations must we have about that before you believe that I was truly under Thanos's control?”

“Man, and I thought Odin's family squabbles couldn't get any worse than they did with Hela,” Brunnhilde said, shaking her head. “You two have some serious issues.”

“I do believe that you were under Thanos's control. You have spoken too much on this ship of things for me to believe otherwise,” Thor said, ignoring Brunnhilde's statement. “But that does not take the memory of me fighting you on the Bifrost as you tried to kill me away.”

Loki tipped his bottle in Thor's direction. “I'll give you that. But you weren't under control.”

“But in a way, I was,” Thor said, and Loki's head snapped around to look at him. “No, hear me out, brother. Thanos may have been in your head, but he was controlling everyone in the family by manipulating how we felt towards you due to the actions he was making you commit. My reaction in that field in Norway was born out of years of believing you to be the evil schemer that he made me believe you were. If I had known, if I had known about Thanos and what he was doing and what you had really masqueraded as Odin for, I would have felt differently than I did that day. I am certain of it.”

Loki took a long drink before letting his eyes meet Thor's and he saw the sincerity in them. “Fine.”

“Fine? So we are good, brother?”

“We have no quarrel if that is what you are asking.”

“That is not what I am asking,” Thor said firmly.

Loki let his head fall back against the chair for a few moments before picking it back up and looking over at Thor once more. “We are fine, brother. All is well. Or as well as anything ever can be between us.”

At that, Thor laughed. “Just please don't try to stab me any time soon. It wouldn't be very becoming for the people to see their king stabbed by his heir.”

“It would be nothing they wouldn't expect from us, brother.”

“Too true, brother.”

Brunnhilde let her gaze flick between them again before smiling. “So, how about we finish these drinks and then get some sleep? I know you scheduled an early council meeting in the morning, Thor.”

“Norns, why did you do that?” Loki declared. “I was actually going to try to come to that one.”

“And you shall,” Thor said. “The entire council needs to know what it is you have been doing to further save our people. In fact, all peoples should know it.”

“No, brother,” Loki started, but Thor just shook his head.

“No, they will be told,” Thor stated firmly. “And that, Loki, is a command from your king.”

Loki sighed heavily. “I somehow knew I was going to regret coming here tonight.”

“Regret nothing, brother,” Thor said, pouring himself another glass and making his way back to his chair. “Instead, let us tell Brunnhilde some stories of growing up in the House of Odin.”

“Brunnhilde?” Loki said, looking over at her.

“It was time,” she said. “And yes, please. Lots of stories. Preferably with stabbing.”

“You definitely have the right set of brothers for that,” Loki said. “He'll claim I did all the stabbing but he's lying. He stabbed me plenty.”

“I did no such thing.”

“Swear it on Mother's life.”

“Well, maybe on a few occasions...”


	8. slow and steady seduction phase two.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It had been the first thought that ran through her mind when it appeared on the council's agenda, and then Thor had infuriatingly mentioned it which meant she must have made it noticeable, but now it was something that was in her head and stuck there, and well, who was she if not one to follow through on ideas like this?
> 
> or: Brunnhilde mentions Thor has asked her about something, Loki lets Brunnhilde know that he sees her, and Brunnhilde leaves Loki with his head spinning.

Loki was so exhausted he barely glanced up when Brunnhilde walked into The Drinking Room, grabbed a bottle, and collapsed into the chair next to him. She let out a huge sigh as she ripped the top off her bottle and then tipped it back, and Loki watched as she drank far longer than should be possible without needing to breathe. When she brought the bottle back down, she tossed the top up and down in her hand for a moment before hurling it at the wall in front of them, shattering one of the empty bottles that had been put back in its previous place.

Loki raised an eyebrow as he raised a hand to clear the glass shards away with his magic. "What did he do?"

"I shouldn't talk about it," Brunnhilde said, taking another drink, this time shorter. "I'll just say that I'm ready to stick my sword into your brother's chest."

"Well, I wouldn't recommend that," Loki said, chuckling. "Doing that would make me your king."

"And that right there is reason enough to keep me from doing it. I don't think I could handle being sworn to an oath to protect you."

"I take great offense to that, Valkyrie."

"You should, Trickster."

They looked over at each other and both started laughing. Loki was glad that he was able to draw some positive emotions from her, but it wasn't long before Brunnhilde's laugh faded and she was back to drinking.

"Come now, tell me what it is the oaf has done."

Brunnhilde sighed heavily. "He inquired about whether a royal wedding should be arranged."

"A royal what?" Loki asked, nearly choking on the drink he'd just taken.

"A royal wedding," Brunnhilde repeated, looking over at him. "There was some discussion at a council meeting that you didn't attend last week about how the members of the royal house need to marry and produce heirs to solidify the line of succession since right now the line of succession consists of only you. And so your brother has asked me this evening if a royal wedding should be arranged."

Loki took a couple of long pulls from his bottle before looking over to meet Brunnhilde's gaze. "So shall I congratulate my new sister then?"

Brunnhilde let out a sarcastic chuckle. "Oh, no. Thor doesn't want to marry me. He wants me to marry you."

Loki dropped the bottle in his hands and some of the grayish-pink liquor spilled out onto his trousers. He reached for it and whispered a spell to dry his clothes as he let Brunnhilde's words sink into his brain. "Thor wants us to get married."

"He has taken in our camaraderie as drinking buddies and determined that it was the start of a lifelong romance," Brunnhilde said. "He also said he believes that it would calm the people. They are frightened."

Loki took a long drink. "I was wondering how long that would take. Of course, people are frightened of me."

"You're misunderstanding me," Brunnhilde said. "They're not frightened of you. They're frightened of me."

Loki gave her a confused look. "Frightened of you? Why would they be frightened of you?"

"Surely you have heard the stories of the Valkyrior that I have had relayed to me since I boarded this ship," Brunnhilde said. "I did not realize that in the two millenniums since my sisters' deaths that our battles to defend the king would be twisted into such horrific tales."

"Then we need to make sure the people are properly educated on what the Valkyrior actually did," Loki said. "Not marry you off to me to make you less frightening."

"No one wants to give me the chance to be anything more than the Valkyrie of these tales," Brunnhilde said, taking another long drink. "They choose not to see that I am not this brutal murderer and that I can do things beyond drinking and fighting. But apparently I am only gruff and blunt and at times vicious. Marrying me to you is supposed to soften me."

"Who has said these things?" Loki asked. "Because I know that it couldn't possibly be my brother. He knows your worth."

Brunnhilde sighed heavily. "Ragnar is his name, I believe. He listed off those personality traits of mine at the council meeting this morning when this issue was again discussed. He has declared that his wife and daughters will no longer be sent to their scheduled shift to be trained by me because his daughters now enjoy the feeling of a sword in their hands. As if that somehow makes them less of a woman."

"I know who Ragnar is," Loki said, shaking his head. "He is a fool in many ways. I have never understood why Thor picked him for the council. His views are those of a past that has long been confined to history books that are now no more than ash drifting through the cosmos."

Loki paused and looked over at her. "Brunnhilde, you are strong. Strong in body and strong in mind. You take that strength and use it to guide you in life, whether that be by how you use your sword or by how you use your wit. You have suffered through great tragedy in your life, but you have persevered because of your strength. But your strength is not just that which makes you hard, but it also softens you. It allows you to be kind and caring and gentle. That is your greatest personality trait. Anyone who sees anything else doesn't actually see you."

Brunnhilde swallowed hard as she felt a tear roll down her cheek. She reached up quickly to wipe it away only to find another drip down the other cheek. She reached to wipe that one away as well, but those tears only served to open the flood gates, and before she knew it, she was bent over in the chair, sobbing and wishing Loki's words hadn't affected her so.

It had been so long since anyone had looked at her and really seen her.

Brunnhilde felt herself being carefully lifted up from the chair and pulled into an embrace, and she buried her head in Loki's shoulder and let herself cry. The last time she'd cried in front of someone had been in the aftermath of the deaths of her Valkyrior sisters. After the death of her. Last time she ran and hid for centuries. This time there was nowhere to hide. She was going to have to face Loki.

She got herself together and pulled back, reaching up to rub at her eyes before looking at Loki. Loki met her gaze with nothing but genuine sincerity, and Brunnhilde felt herself welling up again but forced herself to shove those emotions back down. She was not going to cry again.

"I'm really more than a weak and foolish woman," she finally said, voice raw with emotion. "And I shouldn't have done that."

"Brunnhilde," Loki said, his voice firm but gentle. "Crying does not make you weak."

"I just..." Brunnhilde trailed off before dropping her gaze to the floor. "I am a warrior. Warriors do not cry."

"You are a goddess," Loki said, drawing her gaze back to him. "A warrior goddess, but a goddess nonetheless. And last I checked warrior goddesses were capable of experiencing all of the emotions that the other goddesses did. Perhaps you aren't one of the silly girls who used to throw themselves at my brother's feet, but that does not mean you are incapable of feeling something so deeply that it causes tears."

Brunnhilde let out a small chuckle. "How do you know the right thing to say?"

"They call me Silvertongue for a reason, you know," Loki said, placing his hands on her arms. "What did I say that upset you so? I am sorry for it."

"There is nothing to be sorry for. There is no way you could have known," Brunnhilde said, taking a few deep breaths. "You said my greatest personality trait was my strength and that those who don't see that don't see me. And those were words that she...let's just say that she used to remind me of that often."

Loki nodded solemnly. "You were lucky to have her," he said after a moment. "She clearly understood how special and unique you are."

Brunnhilde let her eyes meet Loki's and they stood locked in a gaze for a few minutes before Brunnhilde broke both the gaze and their embrace, grabbing her bottle and collapsing back down into her chair. "This evening is not going how I was expecting it to."

"Yes, well, I suppose the prospect of being married to me threw you off from the beginning," Loki said, sitting down and grabbing his own bottle. "I don't blame you for that."

Brunnhilde watched as he tipped his bottle back and sighed. "I could do worse."

Loki looked over at her and smiled. "Worse than a Jotunn in an Aesir glamour who tried to kill his own brother and conquer Midgard? I would like to hear who this worse could be."

"You didn't do those things," Brunnhilde said. "You are not the person that people have been led to believe you are. You are the person that I have gotten to know over the course of these nights that we've spent adrift in the cosmos. You are not what he made you be."

Loki found a lump forming in his throat. "Fine. But I'd still like to hear who this worse could be."

Brunnhilde laughed. "That's easy. Someone like Ragnar. And I'm sure this ship is full of them. Asgard is not the most progressive of societies when it comes to female warriors. I have heard many whispers behind my back from men who are not pleased with the fact that their wives or daughters are being trained. I would rather slit my throat with my sword than be forced to marry a man like that."

Loki tipped his bottle in her direction. "Completely understandable. And I am seriously thinking of making it extremely clear to Ragnar that just because a woman likes the feeling of a sword in her hand it doesn't mean she is less of a woman."

"And how would you do that?" Brunnhilde asked.

"Depends on the ages of his daughters," Loki said, laughing when he saw the scandalous look on Brunnhilde's face. "I am only joking. His daughters would likely want no part of me. I am still the outcast, no matter what my brother says."

Brunnhilde watched him for a moment. "Do you think you will ever find happiness, Loki? Find someone to love you and care for you?"

Loki took a very long drink from his bottle. "I fear not," he said quietly. "Between the reputation that he has wrought for me through the actions he forced me to commit and the perception that I already had among Asgard's populace and the fact that everyone is aware of my parentage and knows I am the monster they teach their children about? I find it very hard to believe anyone will ever want to so much as kiss me, let alone court with me or lie with me or marry me. I sort of gave up on those hopes long ago."

"Surely there will be some woman who cares to get to know you, the real you," Brunnhilde said.

Loki let out a bitter chuckle. "To be completely honest with you, Brunnhilde, you are the only woman who has ever cared to do that."

Brunnhilde tipped her bottle back as she thought about his words, and they spent the next several minutes drinking and sitting in silence. Eventually, she stopped drinking and just watched Loki as he did, and by the time most of his bottle was gone, she'd made a decision.

"I never would have said this on Sakaar," she started. "And I never would have said this those first couple of weeks on this ship. But I could see myself married to you."

Loki nearly choked. "You could?"

"We're far more suited to each other than your brother and I are."

"We are?"

"Stop sounding so bewildered, Loki," Brunnhilde said, amusement in her tone. "I know you know what I speak is the truth."

Loki forced himself to take a deep breath. "I know that we have discussed a lot of private, personal things, but I've never thought..."

"I don't believe that." Brunnhilde shrugged when Loki looked over at her. "What? I don't believe that you've never thought about it."

"Well, perhaps I've thought about it, but I've never thought that it could possibly happen."

"Maybe it should," Brunnhilde said.

Loki swallowed hard. "Beg your pardon?"

"Let's just recount the past two weeks," Brunnhilde said. "We have come close to kissing on seven different occasions."

"Eight."

Brunnhilde glanced over at him. "What was the eighth?"

"In The Farming Room yesterday morning when you were trying to get me to go to the council meeting," Loki said. "When I nearly fell asleep on your shoulder."

"Hm," Brunnhilde said, thinking. "Oh yeah, right before I shoved you off of me and stalked out of the room."

"Yup."

"Alright, fine then. Eight different occasions."

"I'm hoping there is a point to this because this is steering towards the awkward."

Brunnhilde rolled her eyes. "It's only awkward because you apparently have no experience in this area."

Loki tipped his bottle in her direction. "True. Continue."

"So we should do something about it is my point. Make sure that we want this before we let your brother marry us off."

Loki took a very long drink. "Um, what?"

"Oh, come on. I know you said that you didn't get very many girls but you have admitted there were a few. You know what I'm talking about."

Loki took a long drink. "What about her?"

"It's been two millenniums," Brunnhilde said. "She'd want me to be happy."

"And you think I could make you happy?" Loki laughed. "I can't make anyone happy."

"You make me happier than anyone else on this ship," Brunnhilde said, drawing Loki's attention to her. "And that means something to me."

"This is...um...I need to think about this," Loki said. "Not that what you just said doesn't mean something to me, because it does. I mean, I've never made anyone happy ever before, I think, but this is, well, this is sort of crazy."

"The crazy things in life are often the ones that are the best to do," Brunnhilde said, standing up. "You think about it. I'll meet you in my room."

Loki's head was spinning. "What? I don't understand what's happening here. We're just having a conversation."

Brunnhilde paused in the doorway. "Conversations are boring. What's happening is that you're being seduced by a Valkyrie. Don't take too long."

Loki watched her leave and took a very, very long drink. He took a moment to replay their conversation in his mind, tried to figure out when it had turned from their normal conversation into...whatever this was, and in the end stood up and started making his way towards the door.

There were worse ways he could spend the rest of his night than in the arms of the last living Valkyrie. And maybe by the end of it, he'd have some sort of a grasp on what the hell was happening.

Seduced by a Valkyrie indeed.


	9. i think i've seen the way it's got to end.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> There are some things that Bruce has experienced on this spaceship in the middle of the cosmos that have made him understand another race of beings in a better way, there are some things that have made him question things about his own humanity, and then there is Loki, who is so......Loki.
> 
> or: Loki's hearing things in his head, Bruce decides Loki needs to talk about some things, and Loki does something that scares the hell out of Bruce...and Brunnhilde.

_...and I will bathe the starways in your blood._

The words kept echoing around in Loki's head throughout the day, and when they started during the council meeting, he'd gotten up and abruptly left without saying a word. If Thanos was listening, and Loki was increasingly more certain that he was, he didn't need to hear what the council of the King of Asgard was up to.

Loki had The Drinking Room to himself for most of the evening, and he was glad for it. He'd taken to avoiding Brunnhilde and all discussion of her ever since their......interesting night four days previous, and he figured the fact that he'd succeeded had something to do with the fact that she was avoiding him as well. Whatever the reason for her absence from their nightly drinking sessions, it was giving him time to think about what to do next without having to think about her or this proposed marriage or the fact that he was not one hundred percent opposed to that idea.

He was halfway through a bottle of something peach in color and sweet in taste when the door opened and Bruce came in, sipping at another glass of that black liquid he called coffee.

Great.

“Evening, Loki,” Bruce said as he sat down next to him. “Don't worry, I told everyone that I saw you go towards your room. No one knows you're here but us.”

Loki studied him for a moment. “Why would you do that?”

“Because you need to talk,” Bruce said. “And it needs to be to someone who isn't your brother or your betrothed, and I get the feeling that speaking to Korg isn't something that would accomplish much. You don't trust any of the other Asgardians, and while I know you don't necessarily trust me, and I am not this kind of doctor, there is no one else, so here I am. So start talking.”

Loki watched as Bruce took a long sip from his glass. “I don't have anything to say to you.”

“Well, if you don't start talking, I'm going to go tell your brother how you're not taking care of yourself. Because quite frankly, you look like shit.”

“I'm taking perfectly fine care of myself.”

“Then why haven't you healed that cut at the base of your neck?”

Loki's hand flew up to where the mark was, covering it. “It's not that deep. It will heal on its own.”

“Sure,” Bruce said, taking another sip. “That's why there's blood running between your fingers.”

Loki pulled his hand away to find it stained red, cursing inwardly. He reached into his pocket for a handkerchief, pressing it to the cut. “What do you really want, Bruce?”

“I want to know what's going on,” Bruce said. “You are one of the most self-confident people I've ever met, and on this ship, you are self-destructing. I know this Thanos guy has been in your head, but I think it's more than that. So talk to me.”

Loki sighed heavily, resigned to the fact that Bruce wasn't going to leave him alone. “I don't even know where to start.”

“How about we start with the cut?” Bruce suggested. “That's a pretty deep cut if it's still bleeding like that four days later.”

“You've noticed it for that long?”

“I'm not the only one.”

Loki swore under his breath. “I can't heal it,” he eventually said, pulling the handkerchief away to whisper a couple of spells over it. He pressed it back against his neck and sighed as the coolness of the cloth seeped into his skin. “My seiðr is stretched too thin for me to be able to heal it.”

“Your what?”

“My seiðr,” Loki said. “My magic.”

“I see,” Bruce said. “And why is it stretched too thin?”

Loki laid back in the chair and sighed, letting his eyes drift closed. “Between growing food for the people and teaching the children to defend themselves using their seiðr, it's taken a lot out of me. And my reserves are not being replenished as they should.”

“Because you won't let yourself sleep,” Bruce finished.

“It's not that I won't let myself sleep,” Loki murmured, his eyes still shut. “It's that I can't. Every time I lie down and close my eyes, I hear...you know what, never mind.”

“No,” Bruce said firmly. “You clearly need to talk about this. You hear what?”

Loki reached out blindly for his bottle and snatched it, bringing it quickly to his lips for a long drink. “I hear his voice in my head.”

“Thor's?”

“No, I wouldn't be losing sleep over anything my brother says.”

“So you mean Thanos then.”

“Correct.”

“What does he say?”

Loki cracked an eye open and looked over at Bruce. “I don't think that is something I want to talk about.”

“No,” Bruce said, his tone again firm. “Everyone on this ship has to deal with his looming threat. Anything you can tell us is going to make us more prepared.”

Loki closed his eye again and let his head fall back against the chair. “It's always the same thing. Nothing that really gives a clue about what he is planning. Well, at least not his plans for anyone but me.”

“Meaning?”

Loki swallowed hard. “Meaning he's going to kill me. But I already knew that.”

“Is that why you're self-destructing? So you can kill yourself before he gets to do it?”

Loki opened his mouth to respond and then shut it. He let Bruce's words float around in his mind and then settle, but took several moments to formulate his response before speaking. “Are you implying that I'm...what's the Midgardian word, suicidal?”

“I'm not implying anything,” Bruce said. “I'm asking.”

“No, I'm not trying to kill myself,” Loki said softly. “I'm trying to figure out how to kill him.”

“By drinking yourself to death? By not sleeping and letting your strengths replenish?” Bruce shook his head and took a long sip of his coffee. “If Thanos attacked this ship today, you're so weak that he would be able to kill you easily. And you would be of little help when it comes to defending the innocents on this ship. It's like you're making it easy for him.”

Loki stared at Bruce for so long that Bruce started to get unnerved. But before Bruce could say anything, Loki slid out of his chair and onto his knees, whispering words in a language that Bruce had never heard before. Bruce reached for him when Loki's head dropped towards the floor but recoiled when a green glow began to surround Loki. He was about to stand up and go find someone who had more experience in these sorts of things that were clearly alien to him when Loki stopped whispering and let out a scream, the green glow growing incandescent and then disappearing.

Loki collapsed onto the floor, eyes shut and breathing hard, blood pouring out of the cut on his neck and from other cuts that Bruce could tell now that he'd been concealing.

“Son of a bitch,” Bruce muttered, setting his glass to the side and dropping to his knees next to him. “Loki? Loki, talk to me.”

Loki groaned as Bruce grabbed the handkerchief that Loki had been using and pressed it back to his neck, and Bruce surveyed him before making a quick decision. Reaching into his pocket, he pressed down on the communicator. “I need your help in here.”

“What did he do, get too drunk?” came Brunnhilde's voice.

“I think he did some sort of a spell and then he glowed and then he passed out and I need your help.”

“On my way,” came Brunnhilde's voice. “Be there in five.”

“Stop by the medbay and grab some bandages. He's bleeding out fast.”

“Bleeding out? Norns, I'll be there in three,” came Brunnhilde's voice, and Bruce tossed the communicator to the side.

“Loki, talk to me,” Bruce said, carefully rolling Loki onto his back. “I don't know how to undo your shirt and I need to get underneath it.”

Loki groaned again and Bruce sighed, feeling along the sides of Loki's shirt. “Come on, tell me that you Asgardians know what a zipper is.”

His fingers didn't find a zipper but a row of clasps and he undid them, Loki's leather garb quickly opening. The linen shirt underneath was soaked with sweat and blood, and Bruce swore loudly when he saw the large cut on Loki's chest. “How the hell did you get so injured?”

“That's my fault,” came Brunnhilde's voice as she walked into the room, dropping bandages next to Bruce before falling to her knees on Loki's other side. “We had an.......interesting night the other night.”

“I don't even want to know,” Bruce said, carefully extracting Loki's arms from the leather garb. “Help me get this shirt off.”

Brunnhilde and Bruce quickly divested Loki of his shirt and Bruce got to work on his wounds, Brunnhilde doing what Bruce asked her to do when he asked it. She found some water and a hand towel, using it to wipe the sweat and blood from Loki's face and neck. “What happened?”

“We were talking about Thanos and he just...fell to his knees mumbling in a language that I certainly don't know, glowing green and then he went incandescent and then collapsed.” Bruce looked up at her. “Please tell me you know what that means.”

“I have an idea,” Brunnhilde said, running her thumb over Loki's forehead.

“Care to fill me in?”

Brunnhilde looked over at Bruce as Loki groaned, seeing him press against the large wound in his chest. “Be careful with that one. I got a little out of hand.”

“Given the number of cuts on his torso, I would say you both got a little out of hand,” Bruce said. “But I don't want to know about that.”

Brunnhilde sighed. “What was going on when this happened?”

“He was telling me that he kept hearing Thanos say he was going to kill him in his head,” Bruce said. “And I was trying to surmise if he was trying to kill himself before Thanos got a chance to when this happened. I was not prepared for this when we agreed I'd be the one to talk to him, Brunn.”

“I was not expecting Thanos to be in his head,” Brunnhilde countered back. “He hadn't said a thing to me about that.”

“Because you two have done a lot of talking these past few days,” Bruce muttered.

“Anyway,” Brunnhilde said, glaring at Bruce, “he hasn't said anything to me about Thanos talking to him. He's been telling me everything.”

“I'm not sure he tells anyone everything,” Bruce said, looking over at the bandages Brunnhilde had brought. “Do you all have anything for stitches?”

“Stitches?”

“To sew up the wounds?” Bruce asked. “We need to get this wound closed or infection is going to set in, and I don't want to be dealing with that.”

Before either of them could say another word, the wound on Loki's chest began to close. Bruce's jaw dropped as the rest of Loki's wounds healed as well, and when his skin was unmarred, Bruce reached out and ran his fingertips along where the wound had been. “What the hell.”

“Seiðr,” Brunnhilde said. “He healed himself.”

“He was just telling me that he couldn't heal himself, that his reserves were—”

Bruce was interrupted by a loud groan, followed by a “Why am I on the floor?”

Their eyes turned to Loki, who flicked his gaze between the two of them. “Hello?”

Brunnhilde reached out and smacked him on the chest, making Loki flinch. “You idiot! You could have killed yourself!”

“But I didn't?” Loki tried, flinching when Brunnhilde hit him again. “Can you please stop doing that?”

“You promised me that you wouldn't try it unless I was there with you,” Brunnhilde said. “And instead you do it in front of the one guy on this entire ship who was least prepared to deal with the aftermath!”

“No offense, darling, but if I was going to do it in front of anyone, it was going to be him,” Loki said, confusing Bruce even more.

“Excuse me, what are you talking about?” Bruce asked as Brunnhilde threw her hands up.

“You are an idiot,” she said.

“You are not the first woman to tell me that,” Loki replied. “Bruce, I just broke myself from the last of Thanos's spellwork. Or at least the last of it that I was aware of.”

Bruce's eyes widened. “Why would you do that in front of me instead of her?”

“Because I needed to do it in front of someone who wouldn't understand what was going on,” Loki responded. “You would be too scared of what you were seeing to interrupt me. Everyone else would have tried to stop me the moment I started chanting.”

Brunnhilde's eyes snapped to Loki at that. “That's why you wouldn't tell me the words of the spell.”

“Precisely,” Loki said, looking down at his chest. “Why am I half naked?”

“Because you were bleeding out!” Bruce exclaimed. “I had to do something about your wounds.”

Loki swallowed hard. “So you saw all of those?”

“Yes,” Bruce said. “And I have no idea how you got them nor do I have any interest in finding out how you got them. You two can keep your weird foreplay to yourselves.”

Bruce stood up and reached for his coffee, shaking his head. “I don't get paid enough for this. I don't get paid anything for this.”

“Bruce,” Brunnhilde said, standing up. “Thank you.”

“Nothing I wouldn't do for anyone else,” Bruce said, taking a long sip of his drink. “Though I think he'll probably tell you he's surprised that I did it for him. Make him get some sleep, okay? He still looks terrible and needs rest, even if he healed himself up.”

Brunnhilde nodded as Bruce walked out of the room, crouching down next to Loki as he sat up. “You're still an idiot.”

“You know why I had to do it,” Loki said, reaching for his linen shirt and whispering a couple of cleaning spells over it before putting it back on. “You're just mad I didn't do it in front of you.”

“Perhaps,” Brunnhilde said, reaching for his leather shirt and handing it to him. “But Bruce is right. You need to get some sleep.”

“I can't sleep,” Loki said, redoing the clasps on his shirt. “You know why I can't sleep.”

“You couldn't sleep before. I think you need to try to sleep now,” Brunnhilde said, helping Loki stand, putting an arm around his waist when he swayed unsteadily. “We're going back to your room and we're going to sleep.”

“We?”

“You don't really think I'm going to be leaving your side after this, do you?” Brunnhilde asked, looking at him. “I know you don't believe that this marriage idea is a good one, but I—”

“I never said the marriage idea is not a good one,” Loki said. “I've just said that I need to adjust to the idea of allowing for someone to care for me. I never lied to you when I said there's never been a woman interested in doing that.”

“Well, there is now,” Brunnhilde said. “You need to see if you can sleep, and you need to rest and replenish, so we're going back to your room and going to sleep.”

Loki stared at her for a moment before nodding. “Alright, darling.”


	10. could he forget when it was magic.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Her seiðr was nowhere near powerful enough to be doing this for very long, and this wasn't exactly part of a Valkyrie's job description, but the people of Asgard were in need and so she was doing her part. Well, there was one particular Asgardian in need, and she was doing it for him.
> 
> or: Brunnhilde's tending crops, Thor wants to talk about her relationship with Loki, and Brunnhilde and Thor uncover something from Loki's past that might be important.

“Loki's been asleep for three days.”

Brunnhilde looked up from where she was monitoring the crops in The Farming Room to see Thor standing in the doorway. “I'm surprised you know your way down here.”

“You're avoiding what I said,” Thor replied, walking into the room.

“And you're avoiding what I said,” Brunnhilde countered, turning back to the crops and feeling the soil the way Loki had told her to do. “So you're going to talk first.”

Thor sighed heavily. “I think that you're right and you're not.”

“That's going to require further explanation,” Brunnhilde said, moving to the next crop. “Because I have no idea what that means.”

“It means that I don't believe I've neglected my duties as king,” Thor said. “But you are right that I should have followed up on the issue of our supplies and how many we had and how long they would last. But I put a very capable person in charge of that and had confidence that they would take care of that.”

Brunnhilde looked behind her at Thor. “Who did you put in charge of the supplies? I don't recall anyone at the council being in charge of the supplies.”

“That's because no one who has been regularly attending the council meetings was in charge of the supplies,” Thor said, walking up next to her. “The person I put in charge of inventorying and caring for the supplies is the man who created these crops.”

Brunnhilde let Thor's words sink in and sighed heavily. “Loki was in charge of the supplies.”

“Yes.”

“And he wasn't doing his job because all he was doing was drinking himself to death.”

“Exactly.”

“So really, you have me to thank for the fact that this ship still has food and water.”

“Precisely,” Thor said, looking over at her. “Brunnhilde, I know that I have said this many times over the past several days, but thank you. You are doing a fine job caring for my brother and our people.”

“I don't care for your brother,” Brunnhilde said, turning her gaze away from him. “We are drinking buddies. Nothing more.”

“I think we both know that you are not speaking the truth,” Thor said, turning and walking to the other end of the room to where an apple tree stood in a corner. “Fresh apples, just like the kind he grew in Mother's garden. Mother was so proud of the way that apple tree turned out. She made him promise that he'd never grow another. At least not until...”

“Until what?” Brunnhilde asked, turning around and watching as Thor picked an apple from the tree and bit into it.

“Until he fell in love,” Thor said, smiling at her. “I know he acts as though he does not care for you, but I promise you that he does. That is why I know why this proposed marriage is ideal. You both care greatly for each other.”

“Is there a point to all of this or is this just to try to talk me into this marriage again?” Brunnhilde asked, turning back to the crops. “Because I've already told you what I think of it.”

Thor watched her for a moment. “Is it hard for you to admit that you can love someone beyond her?”

Brunnhilde spun around and marched towards Thor in a flash, backing him up against the wall and holding a knife to his neck. “I don't care who you are, Your Majesty, but you better watch your words.”

“I am not trying to disparage her or your love for her,” Thor said calmly. “I am just asking if she is something that is preventing you from admitting what you really feel for my brother.”

Brunnhilde stared at him for a few moments before withdrawing her knife and backing away. “She is not something I care to speak about.”

“Perhaps she is something you should speak about,” Thor said.

“Not with you,” Brunnhilde said automatically. “No offense.”

“None taken, provided you mean to speak of it with Loki,” Thor said, smiling.

“I should stick a knife in you for that,” Brunnhilde murmured, sheathing her knife. “Look, if you're trying to get me to admit that my confidante on this ship has become your brother then yes, he has. But my feelings, whether they go beyond that or not, belong entirely to me and I see no need to share them with anyone else.”

“Do you share them with him?” Thor asked, holding up his hands when Brunnhilde glared at him. “I'm only asking because I care for him, Brunnhilde. I know how he has given his feelings to another before and been hurt by that person. I don't want that to happen again.”

Brunnhilde's features softened. “Who hurt him? He told me he never had anything approaching a courtship in your younger years.”

Thor let out a bitter laugh. “I'm not surprised he would say that. He likely would never want to remember her ever again.”

“Tell me about her,” Brunnhilde demanded.

Thor gave her a knowing look. “On one condition.”

Brunnhilde rolled her eyes. “I was unaware we were negotiating.”

“It's a simple one.”

“Fine.”

“When this is done, you tell Loki how you really feel,” Thor said. “You can try to deny it all you want, but I have seen the way you look at him, Brunnhilde. Even if it is not love as you had before, it is deep affection.”

Brunnhilde stared at him for a couple of minutes before nodding slightly. “Now talk.”

Thor sat down in one of the chairs in the room and ran his hands over his face. “Her name was Asrunn. She came of age and came to court and while most of the girls fawned over me as the heir, she was always focused on Loki. Loki didn't believe her intentions at first because some girls in the past had tried to focus on him as an attempt to get close to me, but when given chances to prove that she wished to be with me and not him, she showed that she really wanted to be with him.

“So Loki took the time to get to know her, and they grew very close. A formal courtship began, and Loki knew that he was going to ask her to marry him at the end of it. He used to pepper me with questions about where he should do it, and what kind of stone he should seek out for the ring, and even how the silver-tongued prince should ask it. It was amusing but also heartwarming to see my brother so dumbstruck by his love for her.”

Thor stopped talking and Brunnhilde watched him for a moment, took in his weary demeanor and deduced that something terrible had happened. “What happened?”

“Loki was walking in the forest behind the palace as he often did to clear his head one afternoon and he came across Asrunn with one of the palace guards and they were in a rather......intimate embrace.”

Brunnhilde watched Thor wince and realized what he meant. “They were having sex in the forest?”

“Yes,” Thor said, nodding. “Loki was frozen in place, watching them, unable to believe what he was seeing. They only realized they were discovered when I came across Loki and asked him what was wrong in a rather loud manner and it startled them. He turned away immediately and disappeared for three days. I still don't know where he went. But when he came back, he never wanted to speak of her again.”

Brunnhilde felt her heart ache for him. “What happened to her?”

“The courtship was immediately ended, of course. She was expelled from court and the guard was dismissed. Neither were ever heard from again. We worried endlessly over Loki after that because he shut himself off emotionally for a long time. In fact, that void of emotion is one of the reasons why I found myself capable of believing that he would turn on me like Thanos made him do. I felt like Asrunn had cost me my brother and this shell of him was in his place, determined to destroy everything that remained.”

What Thor had just said made something click into place in her mind, and she took a moment to think on it before speaking. “Thor, had anyone ever heard of Asrunn before she came to court?”

“No,” Thor said after a moment. “She was a rather unknown member of the nobility.”

“Unknown how?”

“Her family name was that of noble birth,” Thor said, his speech slow as he remembered things. “But no one from her family had informed the palace of her birth and her appearance at court was a surprise.”

Thor's words solidified Brunnhilde's theory in her mind, and she spoke it aloud. “I don't think she was a real member of the nobility. I'm not even sure she was real.”

Thor gave her a puzzled look. “Beg your pardon?”

“Think about it, Thor. This Asrunn girl shows up as a complete surprise to court, focuses completely on Loki, makes him fall for her, turns his head inside and out, does something to completely destroy him, and then is gone and never heard from again. After that, Loki is completely different, emotionally shut off, and the scheming and lying and betraying begins.”

“Thanos,” Thor murmured after a few moments. “That's how Thanos got to him.”

“It makes sense,” Brunnhilde said. “A surrogate to get as close to Loki as possible, to manipulate him up close. A woman for him to fall in love with. Someone he'd share everything with.”

“That's how the spellwork was placed on him,” Thor agreed. “Who knows how she did it, but she must have done it in a way that Loki never noticed. And because it happened through her, it's no wonder that Heimdall, Mother and Father, the palace guards, or I never noticed Thanos's influence.”

“I'm willing to wager a large number of units that those three days Loki disappeared away to were spent with Thanos,” Brunnhilde said, her anger building. “Putting the finishing touches on all the spellwork, perhaps starting the torture that he'd continue later on, and then putting one last working on him to make him not remember it. Then he returned home and didn't want to speak of any of it again, because if he did, he'd remember all of it.”

“We need to talk to Loki,” Thor said, standing up immediately. “Now.”

“No,” Brunnhilde said, shaking her head. “He needs to rest and replenish his reserves. He's too weak, and we need him strong, especially if this Thanos is coming for us. There are very few among us who are strong enough to fight, and he is key to that.”

“But if we can unlock the memories in his mind,” Thor started.

“And we will try,” Brunnhilde said. “But not tonight. It does us no good to get him back to the man who wants to do nothing but drink himself to death like he was a few weeks ago.”

“I think we might not have a choice,” Thor replied.

“I think I know a way to keep him from going back to that state.”

“And that is?”

Brunnhilde took a deep breath. “Telling him how deeply I care for him.”

Thor smiled. “See? I knew it.”

“Yes, you were right, Your Majesty.” Brunnhilde ran her hands over her face. “I'm seriously regretting telling you that.”

“Never regret expressing your emotions,” Thor said, walking over to her and putting a hand on her shoulder. “I take great honor in being someone you trust with those thoughts, Brunnhilde.”

Brunnhilde nodded and eventually smiled. “Well, I can think of no one better to trust.”

They both looked up at the sound of the door opening and saw Loki stumble weakly into the room.

“Brother!” Thor exclaimed. “We were just speaking of you.”

“I'm sure you were,” Loki said, walking over to Brunnhilde and leaning into her side. “Tell me the crops are alright. I had a terrible nightmare where they all wilted after my little episode the other night and therefore all the people on the ship died.”

Brunnhilde wrapped an arm around his waist and brushed the hair out of Loki's eyes. “The crops are fine. I've been tending them as you told me to. The people are going to be fine.”

Loki let his eyes close as he leaned further into Brunnhilde's embrace. “Thank the Norns. That was a terrible dream.”

“Loki,” Thor said. “Brunnhilde and I have much to discuss with you.”

“But not now,” Brunnhilde said immediately. “Right now, you need to go back to bed. You're still too weak.”

“After I get the ladies in the kitchen to make me some dinner,” Loki said, brushing a kiss along Brunnhilde's temple. “And when I wake again, we will discuss whatever business it is that you have to discuss with me.”

Loki stood up straight and nodded at Thor before walking out of the room. Thor gave Brunnhilde a huge grin and Brunnhilde laughed, shaking her head.

“Alright, maybe this marriage idea isn't such a terrible one.”

Thor grinned. “I always did want a sister. But not one like the sister I ended up actually having.”

They both winced at the memory of Hela. “I promise you,” Brunnhilde said. “I will be your sister and your Valkyrie, but I will not be a murderous hag.”

Thor laughed at that. “I would expect nothing less from you.”


	11. just keep on messing with your head

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In an instant, it was like there was a whole nother portion of his life in his head again, and he was drowning in the memories and in the pain, but there was a constant guiding him back towards the light, and the constant happened to be the last living Valkyrie.
> 
> or: Thor and Brunnhilde mention something to Loki, Loki is flooded with memories, and Brunnhilde takes care of Loki while he's in pain.

Loki walked into The Drinking Room to find Thor and Brunnhilde inside, and the moment they saw him, they immediately stopped talking. He knew immediately they'd been talking about him, but he didn't want to provoke a conversation about anything heavy on this night. He'd had a very long day, had taken some hard hits from the children practicing their self-defense spells when they didn't perform them correctly, and all he wanted was a drink.

“Brother, Brunnhilde,” he said, walking into the room and turning to a wall, looking over it so he could choose something to drink. “What are we talking about tonight? Wedding plans for this marriage I haven't agreed to?”

“No,” Brunnhilde said. “We weren't discussing that.”

“Then what are we talking about, darling?” Loki asked. He didn't know when he'd taken to calling Brunnhilde by that term of endearment, but he liked it. He'd never had someone to call a darling before.

“Actually,” Thor said, and the tone let Loki know that he wasn't going to lie. “We were talking about Asrunn.”

At the mention of her name, Loki felt nothing but pain. He leaned up against the wall as memories flooded his brain, gasping. “What did you say?”

“It's okay, Loki,” Thor said. “It's something she needed to know.”

Perhaps it was something Brunnhilde needed to know, but it was something that Loki hadn't remembered.

At all.

And no wonder why.

“Excuse me,” he murmured as he ran for the door, ignoring the calls of his name behind him.

He ran down the corridor and thought about barricading himself in his room but he knew that would be the first place they would look. Brunnhilde would probably check The Farming Room after that, and so he headed towards the room that he trained the children in, hoping that they wouldn't think to look there.

He stumbled into the room, pressed the button to close the door, and collapsed to the floor. He pressed his forehead against the metal floor and sucked in as many breaths as he could. After a moment, he wished he had something to drink, but he'd been in such a hurry to disappear that he hadn't thought to grab a bottle. He let his eyes close and swallowed hard, feeling like he was being torn apart from the inside, certain that he would never feel anything but pain again.

He didn't know how long he'd been there before he felt the cool cloth on the back of his head and the familiar touch of Brunnhilde's fingers along his neck. He let himself fall to the side and spread out on the floor, his chest heaving as his body tried desperately to breathe in counter to the pain. His eyes locked with hers and she gave him a worried smile.

“Just concentrate on breathing,” she said. “You need to breathe.”

“What...” Loki started, then paused to take some more breaths. “What did he do to me?”

“I can't answer that,” Brunnhilde said. “I think you're going to be the one who answers that question. Just breathe.”

Loki felt another surge of pain go through him and he let his eyes close again, concentrating on breathing and lowering his heart rate. While he focused, he let the conversation in The Drinking Room come back to him, right down to the moment when Thor had said her name.

Asrunn.

He'd forgotten about her. Well, it was abundantly clear that he hadn't forgotten her at all, but that his memories of her had been locked away by Thanos. Thanos, who had taken him and tortured him and shown him that Asrunn was nothing but an evil sorceress who had been sent to bind him into Thanos's submission.

As he allowed himself to follow that line of thought to its conclusion, he felt the pain start to subside and his breathing come back under control. When he felt somewhat like himself again, he opened his eyes and saw Brunnhilde watching over him. “How did you two know to mention her? My memories of her had been locked away.”

“It was something that came up in conversation with Thor the other night, and once we delved deeper, some of the things he said just made it all fall into place,” Brunnhilde said, reaching out to caress Loki's face. “Are you alright?”

“I think I am now,” Loki said, taking another deep breath. “Norns, that witch. She did a number on me.”

“What do you remember about her?”

“I remember him killing her,” Loki murmured, running his hands over his face. “I remember the way he did it too. I actually threatened one of Thor's Midgardian friends that way. Threatened to kill her in the same intimate way that he killed Asrunn. That must have been how that got into my head.”

Brunnhilde shifted around until she was laying on the floor next to him. “So she was real then? I thought maybe she hadn't been.”

“Oh, she was very much real,” Loki said, sighing as Brunnhilde tangled her fingers with his. “I'm not sure where she came from, but she was very real, very evil, and a very talented sorceress.”

“And Thanos sent her?”

“To bind me to him,” Loki said. “I remember his words clearly. He told me that I was bound to him so deep that I would never remember how it happened and therefore never be able to break it.”

“Do you remember how it happened?”

Loki nodded. “There were many places on Asgard where you could slip between worlds without using the Bifrost. She took me into the mountains one day and showed me one, the first one I ever knew about, and it was that day that she cast the first spell. I don't think I've been myself since then. I've had all kinds of strange thoughts and odd dreams, and well, you know of course what it turned into.”

“Do you remember anything else?”

“Nothing that is of any use to us right now.”

“I'm not just talking about that.”

Loki laughed bitterly. “I remember all of it, darling. I just don't care to give it voice.”

Brunnhilde reached up to brush a piece of hair out of Loki's eyes. “It'll do you good to talk about it.”

“Maybe someday,” Loki said. “Just as someday you're going to tell me about that night a couple of millenniums ago.”

“You know I have no intention of telling you about that,” Brunnhilde murmured. “You don't need to hear my pain.”

“And you don't need to hear mine,” Loki said, squeezing her fingers. “That's our deal.”

“It's a stupid deal.”

“It's one that helps us survive,” Loki said. “Maybe one day, years from now, we'll feel comfortable enough in this relationship to actually excise these demons.”

“So we're using that word, are we?”

“Well, this is definitely a better relationship than the last one I was in,” Loki said, causing Brunnhilde to laugh.

“Well, you know I can't use my seiðr for shit, so I certainly won't be binding you to anything.”

Loki smiled. “I can teach you if you want.”

“I think I'm much better with a sword. I'll leave the magic to you.” Brunnhilde stared at him for a moment. “Can I ask another question?”

“If you must.”

“Can you tell if there is any spellwork on you that you hadn't noticed before?”

Loki nodded. “Yes, there definitely is. Quite a bit, actually. It will take me some time to figure out what exactly it is and how to undo it.”

“No more episodes like that one in front of Bruce,” Brunnhilde warned.

“I promise you that the next time I have to do something like that, I will do it with you there,” Loki said. “But you have to promise not to stop me, no matter what you hear me say. Sometimes the only way to break this stuff is to harm me.”

Brunnhilde took a moment before nodding. “Your brother is probably worried about you. I told him to let me find you and that I would report back.”

“He can wait,” Loki said, reaching out and caressing the side of Brunnhilde's face. “You are stunning.”

“I look terrible,” Brunnhilde said, bringing her hand up to mess with her hair.

“No,” Loki said, pulling her hand down and bringing it to his lips to kiss. “You are beautiful. I cannot believe you look at me as though I am anything special when you are so extraordinary.”

“You are special,” Brunnhilde murmured. “Everything about you makes you special.”

“Asrunn used to tell me that,” Loki said after a moment. “She used to tell me that I was specially chosen because of my past. Thanos knew about my parentage.”

“Do you think that it was something she could have discovered and told him?”

“I suppose that she could have discovered that I was Jotunn,” Loki said. “But he'd already chosen me by that point. He had a mole in the House of Odin and that mole was there when I was brought back from Jotunheim.”

“Do you have any idea who that might have been?” Brunnhilde asked softly. “Because if they're still on this ship, we might have a bigger problem.”

“I haven't paid too much attention to everyone on this ship,” Loki said. “I suppose I better do so.”

“But you have an idea of who it might be.”

“There were a few who were around when we were children that remained when I was masquerading as Odin. I'm almost certain that it would be one of them.”

“You're not going to tell me who you suspect, are you?”

Loki sighed heavily. “I don't think you'd like my method of dealing with it if I find I'm right.”

“If your method of dealing with it is taking your daggers and slitting their throat, then I definitely agree with it,” Brunnhilde said, her tone angered. “If there is someone on this ship that is endangering everyone else by reporting back to Thanos, then I don't care who they are. They need to be dealt with.”

“If I kill them, it might let him know that I've figured him out,” Loki said, pondering. “Then again, he probably knows that I've rediscovered my memories of this. But I'm not sure if he's monitoring my every thought. If he is...”

“If he is what?”

Loki gave her a smile. “Then he's heard a lot about you.”

Brunnhilde reached out and shoved at his shoulder. “Loki, you don't have to lie to me.”

“I'm not,” Loki said. “I've not told you one lie since we boarded this ship. At least not one that I knew to be a lie. I suppose all the talk about me and no relationships was a lie.”

“It's not a lie if you can't remember it,” Brunnhilde said, sighing. “Well, if Thanos is listening, he can be warned.”

“Warned?”

“I'm not letting you go so easily,” Brunnhilde said. “If he wants to kill you, he's going to have to go through me.”

Loki felt a lump form in his throat. “Darling, I don't know how to tell you...”

“Don't,” Brunnhilde said, squeezing his fingers. “I know.”

Their gazes locked and Loki swallowed hard at the emotion he saw reflected in Brunnhilde's eyes. “I know too.”

“And that's all that matters,” Brunnhilde said.

They both looked up from the floor when the door opened, Thor striding into the room. “You found him, thank the Norns.”

“I told you I'd report back,” Brunnhilde said, sitting up. “You didn't have to search for us.”

“I got tired of waiting,” Thor said, crouching down next to Loki. “Brother, are you alright?”

“No,” Loki said seriously. “But give me a bit of time to process what I've now remembered and I think I will be.”

“Now remembered?”

“I didn't remember her at all,” Loki said, sitting up. “He locked all my memories of her away.”

Thor started to ask another question but Brunnhilde shook her head. “Let him process it, Thor. If there's anything in there that we need to know, he'll tell us.”

Thor switched his gaze back to Loki and Loki nodded. “I promise, if there's anything in my memories that you need to know, I will tell you. In the meantime, I need to see the census of who is left.”

Thor looked confused. “Why do you need to see that?”

“Because Thanos had a mole in the House of Odin, and I need to make sure that they're not on this ship.”

Thor stared at Loki for a moment before standing. “The census is with Heimdall. Shall I retrieve it now or in the morning?”

“The morning,” Loki said, getting to his feet. “Right now, I need a drink. I think we all could use a drink.”

Loki helped Brunnhilde to her feet and she nodded. “Come on, Your Majesty. Let's go recount old battles again.”

“I'm not sure that's a good idea,” Thor said, but Loki put a hand on his shoulder.

“Give me this night, brother. There's an awful lot of pain in my head and I'd welcome some distraction.”

Thor nodded. “Alright, brother. But we will be discussing this again.”

“I know,” Loki said, reaching for Brunnhilde's hand. “Let's go get drunk.”


	12. this could be the end of everything.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> He's not sure he ever would have said it aloud, but since he felt like he was staring imminent death in the face and the moment presented itself, he knew it was a chance he had to take. It didn't matter what her response was going to be or even if it drove her away for good. He just had to say it.
> 
> or: Loki hasn't looked at the census yet, a moment presents itself, and the answer they were seeking is something that they could never have anticipated.

“What did you see on the census?”

Loki turned around from where he was picking out a bottle to drink to see Brunnhilde leaning up against the doorway. “As I told you yesterday, I haven't looked at it yet.”

“Don't you think that's rather important?” she asked as she walked into the room. “I mean if there's a mole on this ship...”

“Then right now all he's hearing about is a few training sessions. None of the public has been told what they're preparing for, just that they need to be ready should a situation arise.” Loki turned back to the wall and picked something dark blue in color, pulling the top from the bottle and taking a long drink. Satisfied with the taste, he walked over to a chair and sat down. “I have some time to figure this out.”

“It's already been two weeks,” Brunnhilde said, reaching for a bottle and sitting down next to him. “Thor and I have given you space while you processed everything that is now in your head, but he's growing impatient and quite frankly so am I.”

Loki took a long drink before looking over at her. “Darling, trust me. This is something that needs to be done slowly. If this mole so much as gets a hint of what I'm trying to do then I'm worried that something bad is going to happen. So it needs to be done in a careful manner, slowly and methodically. I need to have a reason to look at the census that is more than just looking at the census. If this mole sees me approaching Heimdall and looking for it, they may realize what's going on.”

“So would it make more sense for me to approach Heimdall and get the census?” Brunnhilde asked. “I understand what you mean about slow and methodical but this is something that desperately needs to get done.”

Loki took another drink. “I hadn't thought of having someone else get the census.”

“So you agree that's a good idea?”

“I do,” Loki said, and before he could say another word Brunnhilde was out of her seat and walking towards the door. “I didn't mean this minute.”

“I did,” she called out as she left.

Loki sat there and drank quietly, going over his suspects in his mind. If any of them were on the census then it was a problem, but it was going to be a bigger problem if more than one of them was. He was going to have to figure out a way to suss the mole out if that was the case.

Brunnhilde walked back into the room a few minutes later with a datapad in her hands. She dropped it into Loki's lap before sitting back down, reaching for her bottle. “Now check it.”

Loki sighed heavily and set his bottle down, reaching for the datapad and pulling up the census list. He scrolled through it three times before shaking his head. “None of the advisers that were around when I was a child are on here.”

Brunnhilde let out a huge groan. “So what does that mean?”

“It means,” Loki started, pausing when his eyes narrowed in on one particular name. “Wait.”

“What?” Brunnhilde asked. “Did you find someone?”

“Endre son of Eluf,” Loki murmured. “He is the son of one of Odin's closest advisers at the time of my adoption. It would not surprise me to learn that Eluf told his son about my parentage because Eluf absolutely hated me. He was dismissed about a century ago because Odin found his advice to be counterproductive to a successful Asgardian society. Makes me wonder who had been giving him that advice to give to Odin.”

“So that's him then.”

“Not necessarily. I could be completely reading into that situation.”

Brunnhilde sighed loudly. “Loki, what do your instincts tell you?”

Loki sighed as well before putting the datapad down. “My instincts tell me that it's him.”

“So what are we going to do about it?” Brunnhilde asked. “I have a multitude of knives on me.”

Loki shook his head. “We're not going to go murder him in his sleep, darling. As I said, this has to be done in a careful manner.”

“You and your careful manner could get us all killed.”

“We're probably all going to die whether I do this carefully or not.”

“Way to be positive.”

Loki took a long drink. “What do you want me to do, darling? Lie to you? I've told you for a long time that Thanos means to kill me and get the rest of these stones. Do you think he's just going to let the rest of you live?”

Brunnhilde looked over at him. “No, I don't. But I also am hoping that it doesn't come to that.”

“Well, it's going to, no matter what I do,” Loki said, shaking his head. “We're getting off track. What we need to do now is see if any unauthorized messages are being sent from the ship.”

“And how do we do that?”

Loki let out a laugh. “Of all the people he could have put in charge of the databank of this ship, my idiot brother decided a pile of rocks could do it.”

“That pile of rocks did some serious damage to people on Sakkar,” Brunnhilde said before groaning. “Thor really put Korg in charge of that?”

“Of course he did,” Loki said, standing up and grabbing both the datapad and his bottle. “Come on.”

Brunnhilde stood and fell into step next to Loki. “While we're on our way to the databank, can I ask you a question?”

“Of course,” Loki said, looking over at her. “What is it, darling?”

Brunnhilde took a long pull from her bottle before sucking in a deep breath. “Your brother was asking me about the royal wedding again. He said that he thinks it would do the people some good to have a happy occasion to celebrate.”

“Well, he's not wrong about that.”

“I know he's not, but...” Brunnhilde trailed off.

“But what?”

Brunnhilde sighed heavily. “I just don't want to rush into anything. Does that make sense?”

“It does,” Loki said, stopping and taking Brunnhilde's free hand in his. “I'm just going to say this, and then you can respond however you like.”

“Alright.”

“I love you,” Loki said quickly. “I know that it's probably insane for me to think that after such a short period of time, but darling, I want to spend the rest of my life happy and you are the only person who has ever made me this happy. And that includes my time under Asrunn's spell and thinking I was happy. It's you, Brunnhilde. It's just you.”

Brunnhilde cursed inwardly when her eyes started to fill with tears. “How do you always know exactly what to say?”

“They call me Silvertongue for a reason,” Loki said, pulling her closer. “You don't have to say it back. I'm not expecting that. I just had to tell you.”

“I know I don't,” Brunnhilde said, pulling her hand from Loki's grasp and reaching up to wipe away the tears. “I haven't said those words in two millenniums.”

“I understand.”

“But I want to,” Brunnhilde said softly. “I really really want to because I feel that way and you deserve to hear it. I'm just not sure I'm capable of saying it this second.”

“That's fine,” Loki said, reaching up to tangle a hand in her hair. “I want you to say it when you're ready to say it, not because I've forced you to.”

“You haven't forced me to do anything,” Brunnhilde said as Loki leaned in. “Absolutely nothing.”

“Good,” Loki said, bringing their lips together.

Brunnhilde sighed happily and leaned further into their embrace as Loki deepened the kiss. When they broke apart, she gave him a brilliant smile and Loki felt like it was something he could live for.

“We need to go talk to Korg,” Brunnhilde said, pulling away from him. “But that was nice.”

“We need to do that more often,” Loki said, starting to walk again. “Especially if we're going to be married.”

“I never know what to say to your brother when he brings that up,” Brunnhilde said, walking beside him. “Mainly because I'm not sure I still know your views on the fact that this is getting forced upon us.”

“It's not getting forced upon us,” Loki said. “If we told Thor that we didn't want to get married, he would not force us to do so. He's just so delighted at this thing that's developed between us that he wishes more than ever for us to do so. He always has wanted a sister, and definitely not one like Hela.”

Brunnhilde let out a laugh. “I don't think anyone could possibly ever want a sister like Hela.”

“Too true, darling. Too true.”

They walked in silence the rest of the way to the databank, but before they could approach the doors leading to it, Loki quickly pulled Brunnhilde around a corner. “Shh.”

“What are we doing?” Brunnhilde whispered cautiously.

“I can hear voices,” Loki said. “Someone's talking to Korg.”

“So what's the matter with that?”

“It's a working.”

“A what?”

“Spellwork,” Loki said, bringing his finger up to Brunnhilde's lips when she tried to speak. “Shh. Let me listen.”

Brunnhilde nodded and Loki focused all his energy in on the words being spoken. It took him a few seconds to determine that the spell was to make someone, in this case, Korg, lose their short-term memory. Whoever it was obviously wanted Korg to forget that they'd ever been there. Loki took a chance and peeked around the corner, sighing inwardly when he saw the room had been darkened and he couldn't see who was performing the working. He watched until he noticed the lights lifting and someone walking in their direction, so he pulled back around the corner and held Brunnhilde close to him.

And then the person walked out of the cockpit and continued down the corridor towards them, and Loki's hands dropped from Brunnhilde's waist in an instant. Brunnhilde looked up when they passed the corner they were hiding behind and saw a beautiful raven-haired woman transform herself into a man as she walked by. She glanced a look up at Loki's face and found him staring back at her in terror.

When she felt they were far enough away, Brunnhilde turned to Loki with concern. “Who is she?”

“She's...” Loki trailed off before sucking in a deep breath. “She's...”

Brunnhilde watched as Loki kept trying to say who she was until the word finally crystallized on his lips.

“Asrunn.”

And then Loki passed out.

Brunnhilde did her best to grab him before he could collapse to the floor, but all that did was send them both crashing to the floor, startling Korg.

“Hey one-four-two,” Korg said, standing up and walking towards them. “What's going on?”

“Can you go get the King please?” Brunnhilde said, rolling Loki onto his back and bringing her hand to his chest to make sure he was still breathing. “Tell him it's an emergency.”

“Of course, one-four-two,” Korg said and he took off down the corridor. “Tell Miek to watch things, okay?”

Brunnhilde paid no attention to him as she felt Loki's chest rise and fall and she breathed a sigh of relief. “Wake up, Loki. Come on.”

It took a few minutes before Loki's eyes opened and Brunnhilde recognized the look in them to be a mixture of fear and confusion. “It's okay, Loki. It's going to be okay.”

“How?” Loki got out. “I watched him kill her. How?”

“I'm not sure you watched him do anything,” Brunnhilde said. “Did you recognize the man she turned into?”

Loki nodded as best he could. “Endre. So it is him, except he's not real. He's her. Eluf probably was too. Help me sit up please?”

Brunnhilde grabbed Loki's hand and helped him until he was sitting with his back against the wall. “Be honest with me? How bad is this?”

“Oh, it's bad,” Loki said, sucking in a deep breath. “She probably knows everything that's gone on on this ship and reports it back to him. We need to check for outgoing messages now. I mean, right now. Help me up.”

Brunnhilde quickly helped Loki stand, sliding an arm around his waist as he started to slip back down the floor. “I'm pretty sure you should be sitting down.”

“I can sit down in next to the databank,” Loki said, starting to hobble in the databank's direction.

Brunnhilde carefully guided him into the room before glancing over at a sleeping Miek. “I can't believe your brother actually put these two in charge of this.”

“I'm pretty sure my brother is thinking of bigger things than a databank,” Loki said, sliding down into a chair. “Plus I bet these two needed something to do to stop annoying him every ten minutes.”

Brunnhilde let out a chuckle. “Probably. So what do we do? How do we find out if she's been sending messages?”

“Pull up the log of messages and see if any are sent out. We haven't been sending any.” They both turned to see Thor and Korg approaching them. “And once you do that, can someone explain to me what the Norns is going on? I was in the middle of something.”

“The mole,” Loki got out as Brunnhilde started pressing buttons on the databank. “It's her.”

“Her who?”

“Asrunn,” Brunnhilde filled in. “She's hiding as a man on this ship.”

Thor's eyes widened. “I thought you said he killed her in front of you, Loki?”

“I saw it,” Loki said. “But clearly it was not real.”

“Okay, so it looks like every day there's been a message sent out on a frequency I've never heard of before,” Brunnhilde said. “It's definitely not one the Grandmaster would have used.”

“Three eighteen point twelve?” Loki asked warily.

Brunnhilde looked over at him. “How did you know that?”

“Because it's his frequency,” Loki said warily. “Norns, this isn't good.”

Thor nodded as Brunnhilde turned him. “What do we do?”

“We have to let it continue,” Loki said after a moment. “At least until we can figure out how to trap her. I know some workings I could use to hopefully disable her abilities long enough that we can kill her if I can sneak up on her and do it. And right now she's posing as Endre, so it's imperative that nothing be done to startle him or alert her to the fact that we're onto her.”

“Which means what, exactly?” Thor asked.

“It means Korg and Miek still have a job,” Loki said. “And it means that we have to get out of here before she notices we're down here.”

Brunnhilde helped Loki out of his chair and wrapped an arm around his waist to steady him as he was still shaky. “Where are we going then?”

“The Drinking Room,” Loki said, looking over at her. “I desperately need a drink.”

Brunnhilde looked over at Thor and he just nodded again. “I think that's a good idea. In the meantime, I'll try to find out what her daily life here on the ship is like. What she's doing, who she's talking to, stuff like that. You just worry about keeping him together, Brunn.”

Brunnhilde pulled Loki closer and leaned in to brush a kiss along his temple. “Alright. To the Drinking Room then.”

“Thor,” Loki said as they walked closer to him. “Be careful. I don't want you under some sort of working that she casts on you.”

“I'll be careful, brother. I promise you.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> give me some time to get IW and Endgame from being so fresh in my head, let me rewatch Ragnarok another twenty times, and then there will probably be a conclusion to this that I actually like instead of me rushing one right now.


End file.
